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Coach
You will gain mental peace only when you are able to let go of the past.
Coach
Yes I went through a period of two years before I could put a difficult personal relationship behind me. Know what whatever you are feeling right now is valid, the challenge is not to get consumed by it. And that means finding outlets to release your emotions. I journaled a lot and also took up weight lifting to deal with my emotions.
Coach
Haha - no. It might make you feel good for a fleeting moment but if that person was a jerk, they really won't care. Also, presuming you have a better job now, you should actually be thankful that they were the catalyst to make you move on. I once had a tyrannical boss who fired me. My next job was at a startup that we ended up selling to Intel for millions. I had that first boss to thank for my good fortune. ;-)
Coach
Your ex-boss hasn’t spent 2 brain cells thinking about you and here you are posting about that person. Move on.
This is the way
More like he rewrote the rant then pressed send...he did take away Ozai’s ability to firebend
Remember that your paths may cross again...
What do you gain? What do you lose?
Gain : mental peace
Lose: relationship, probably it's illegal if it's too personal and nasty
Well I had been out of job for a while and worked with this toxic boss of mine.. having less experience and money it felt too risky to quit.
Also didn't really try escalating for a while. When I did it was brushed under the carpet.
I was further put on the spotlight when I protested against firing of a female colleague who was being late multiple times (she had a small baby)
It would have been that I also was overthinking as I had dealt with little or no money and this job was probably keeping me comfortable.
Despite all that I never slept well during the time I worked with him
My relationship suffered and health too
Write an email or letter. Let it out. Don’t hit send. Or send it to a mentor as a release (warning them in advance of course)
Reminds me of that saying, “resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick.” This is bad for you, not him. Meditation? Therapy? Running? All better options than stewing and letting someone live in your head rent-free.
DONT PUT IT IN WRITING. IF YOU WANT TO CLEAR THE AIR, CALL THEM UP AND TELL THEM HOW THEY AFFECTED YOU UNDER THE GUISE OF CONSTRUCTIVE FEEDBACK.
Don’t send. The world is far too small
You can always just go to the corresponding bowl and say it.
I did the opposite to try to smooth things over just in case we cross paths in the future
The guy is still a total a*hole, but atleast I don't have any lingering worries there
I don’t think I would do this. Vent to coworkers/friends/whoever will listen? Sure. But what do you gain from messaging this person? This person probably hasn’t given you a second thought tbh.
There’s really no reason to burn a bridge and open yourself up to potential trouble. Learn to forgive and move on. It’s hard. But forgiveness is not about admitting that what the other person did is ok. Forgiveness is about coming to terms with what happened and deciding not to continue harboring feelings of resentment and revenge and allowing this person to have power over you any longer. It’s about you and not the other person. By holding onto your anger and hatred, you’re really just allowing that person to continue having a negative effect on you long past whatever situation that originally hurt you.
Nope but I do make sure to keep them on my Christmas card list. It is a polite way to show them the finger.
Don't put anything in writing
Why do this? If you thought your manager would be receptive to feedback, you’d have told them in person or sooner. So you’re just doing it out of spite which quite honestly is sad for you. Because it means even though you’re at a better job and place, you’re still focusing on this person who no longer should matter.
Why give them any thought at all? They’re behind you now.
Yeah... You can write it, but don't send it. Best to move on with your life. High potential to make your situation worse otherwise. Might as well appreciate the new situation and be happy with that rather than go out of your way to re-engage in the old one during your free time.
Not worth burning bridges by messaging that cold imo. Now if he was to reach out to you and ask you for a favor, I might let him have it
No waste of time