{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Would you let your husband take leave and watch your 3 month old full time for a few months when you go back to work? Or would you hire a nanny/daycare?", "post_id": "613fc632feac570023bdbc5b", "reply_count": 40, "vote_count": 1, "bowl_id": "58f81646ae9f610010f869be", "bowl_name": "Consulting Moms" }

Would you let your husband take leave and watch your 3 month old full time for a few months when you go back to work? Or would you hire a nanny/daycare?

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at
Highlighted IconHIGHLIGHTED

I’m wondering about your choice of the word “let.” He’s a parent too, and should equally parent as much as is possible for an infant and throughout childhood. Supporting fathers taking parental leave also helps normalize the leave for everyone and encourages bonding etc. and sharing the responsibilities at home. I’d have both parents exhaust their paid leave then arrange childcare. What are your concerns?

like

Of course I would prefer my husband watch our baby vs a nanny/daycare. That’s what we did for both my babies as well - I took my leave and then my husband took his leave after I went back to work. You said he watches a lot of TV… I think some interaction is necessary of course and you guys can talk about what makes sense (narrating your day to the baby, lots of tummy time, play etc.). But honestly, my first baby was so chill and easy, I watched a lot of TV too! She was happy to play in her activity gym and bat at toys or play in her bouncer. Very young babies can be boring! So establishing TOGETHER what is necessary and then everything else you just let go.

like
Recent IconRecent

My husband gets 4 months paternity and you better believe I will be encouraging him to take it all after mine!

like

If you don’t trust the man around children why would you have children with him? Sad.

like

3 months is so young. If I had to go back to work after 3 months, having my husband look after baby would be my first choice

like

“Let”? Don’t sign yourself up to be the primary parent forever. Rethink this mentality.

like

That's 3 months of not paying a daycare or nanny, 3 months of not leaving your child with a stranger, 3 months of bonding your husband will get with your child. What's the question??

like

As in you’re concerned that he won’t be able to cope with taking care of the baby?

like

My husband and I each get 16 weeks leave. We are taking none of it overlapping (a few transition weeks or PTO might overlap). My hubby will start his first alone time at 3 months and then take back over at 7 months. I would be appalled if he didn’t take his leave and/or we got a nanny to help with just his portion of the leave. It’s important for them to bond and spend time together.

like

This is what we did too when we were both working at Deloitte and got great leave! It was perfect

My Husband is a stay at home dad. Normalize men being caregivers.

like

Why would you not let him? (Also hate the use of ‘let’ in this context).

like

My husband and i have talked about stacking our parental leaves for the next baby. We could go almost a year without childcare if we do that.

like

What do you mean "let". Is he irresponsible? Or has he done things to make you not trust him? I mean he's also a parent and should be responsible for taking care the child as much as you. My husband gets 8wks. He will be taking 2wks off after delivery and then 6wks after I go back. Maximize all the time you have with your baby before introducing daycare or nanny.

like

My husband stayed home for months 5-12 with our second. He didn’t want daycare until after she turned 1. I wanted to go back to work after 4 months. Was great

like

If he wants to, of course.

I would love for my husband to have the opportunity to bond with/take care of our child for that long. He only got 3 weeks, so we spent those 3 weeks together as a family after the baby was born. My husband also takes care of our child during the weekend while I get some "me" time.

Husband spends most of baby’s wake time watching tv while feeding and then lays him on a boppy while watching tv. Would a baby that young need more interaction?

I actively narrated my day and every thought. It started because I was so bored I was talking to myself. Then I beware today good for language development. :)

like

I don’t think any nanny can beat the true care of a real parent.

I’d be over the moon. At the same time, I’d probably leave a baby development book in the bathroom. That’s how I got my husband to learn more about ages, stages and what the baby needed at each point. 🤷‍♀️

Haha he’s on his phone in the bathroom too

“Let” 🤦🏻‍♀️

Nanny

Related Posts

Overheard. P1- I workout at home P2- I have a 35lb baby so lifting him counts right P1- you are lucky you can have kids P1- *WTF look* P2- I lost my ability to have babies couple of yrs ago *crickets*

like

I’ve really been having the urge to get out of consulting lately. I’m hesitant to leave Deloitte however Bc my husband and I plan to start a family in about 2 years and I know deloitte’s 16 week parental leave policy is rare in the marketplace. Mom’s - do you feel like it’s worth sticking around another 2ish years for the parental leave benefit? (FYI i am newly promoted to SC)

like

Any fish here dealt with a lonely/toxic parent? I recently came to the realization that my mom is toxic (think guilt-tripping, saying mother-child bond is sacred, making comparisons, etc.) and has become very dependent of me, and as much as I want to be there I can only do so much since I have a family myself. She refuses to move to a nursing/retirement home, look for companionship, and seek professional help for tasks she needs done such as car maintenance, insurance inquiries, etc. (Cont’d)

like

I took a positive pregnancy test this morning (yay!) after a four-day vacation that involved way more than my fair share of drinking. I’d taken a pregnancy test the day I left for vacation and it was negative. While I am so excited about the positive test, especially after miscarrying several months ago, I can’t help but feel totally guilty and worried I may have affected the baby. Please tell me I’m not the only one who has experienced this and whether my anxiety is warranted!

like

Hey fellow fish- What is paternity leave policy for McKinsey (evaluating a transfer)

like

Sometimes I have to think about what my client might've been like as a young child or what their mom might be like so I can write a nice, sass-free email back to them.

likehelpful

This virus is not a joke people. It killed a healthy actor, 41, who has a 1-year old child.

Post Photo
likehelpful

How much notice is required before taking parental leave at BCG? Is there something required per rule or is it more just best practice to give 60/90 days notice to give folks time to plan/schedule around it?

like

Does anyone here work for Silicon Valley Bank? They recently acquired Boston Private. I’m a candidate for a job at Boston Private. Wondering if SVB is planning layoffs in the near term at BP? Also, does anyone know the anticipated benefits to be rolled out from SVB as the parent company? Specifically interested in health insurance providers. Thanks in advance for any information! Silicon Valley Bank

like

Anyone read the thread on Humans of NY today? As a mother, i cannot even fathom the pain the family has experienced. I kept thinking about them and my heart is so heavy today, knowing there are people out there who can hurt our children.

like

For those in relationships (not married), so you spend Mother’s Day with your SO’s mom? Does your SO spend the day with you and your mom? Is your mom inclusive?

like

Our nanny takes my 7 month old out for one, sometimes 2, long walks every day (weather permitting). Love the idea of fresh air every day but its often for several hours at a time and he always returns home crying bc she's pushed him to his limit between feedings. She brushes it off saying hes just fussy which kind of irks me. Im also concerned that he's spending too much time strapped in a stroller. Is it reasonable to ask her to take shorter walks? Am I overreacting?

like

I am not familiar with this concept and would like to understand what constitutes a Mom date? A parent at my kids’ daycare asked me about it and I was not certain what it involves. Is it like a girls day out or can I bring my kid along I would prefer the latter.

like

Do you pass the rat race onto your child? Do you feel like you have to grind to get your child the best resources, schools, etc?

like

Scared to change my LinkedIn to “Open to Opportunities” for fear of my company’s recruiter or parent company recruiter seeing it and then thinking I’m checked out. Should I be? I’m just curious what’s out there...

like

Just got the dreaded call from daycare that my toddler bit another kid. Any tips or resources to help with this?

like

Dropping the night feeding - my baby is three months and appears to be willing to sleep through the night. Being clueless on how this might impact my supply, I have been essentially doing a “dream feed” at 4am. Has anyone had a bad experience with supply or getting their period back after sleeping through the night?

like

The good: middle seat open. The bad: there’s a kid behind me kicking my chair. The ugly: it *reeks* of BO on the plane. All in all this is probably one of my better flights. 🤷‍♀️

like

If you’re in a serious relationship, is the expectation that you invite your significant other to all family functions? Ie a Mother’s Day lunch?

like

Looking at leaving big law for a small boutique (I would be attorney 3). Current firm offers 16 weeks paid parental leave; small firm is 12 paid. Is 12 reasonable/enough?

like

Additional Posts

Which advanced non-MBA degrees are the most common at your firm? If recruited from a grad program with a non-MBA degree, did you start at the same level, salary, compensation track as an MBA recruit?

like

Do participants see notifications when you share a specific window in zoom, not your screen? Asking for a friend who forgot to turn on do not disturb and maybe got a questionable text during a presentation to a client.

like

Doing a product management internship in college? Thoughts?

smart

Lacy panties on the men's room floor at the client site. What's that about?

like

Okay so really asking for a friend - I don't do drugs. But we're being rolled onto a gov't project and they require drug test- he may or may not do pot. What should he do?

like
like

OW 🐠, how is the culture? Do you travel a lot? Is it common to work on strategy projects or is it more likely to be staffed on implementation?

like

Poll Question: which consultant would you rather staff or hire and why? A. Consultant who has worked with the same client for two straight years, above target utilization. B. Consultant who has worked with 8 different clients over two years, above target utilization.

like

I have 2 job offers, one in San Francisco and one with a Fortune 500 company in Nashville. Is going to San Francisco worth it if the pay is comparable?

like

Does EY promote remote work? If in the job location if it's written primary location only does that mean no remote work? Please reply

like

Anyone have any suggestions for accounting, finance, or data analysis books or online material to prepare for an MBA? I’m accepted to LBS but my background is in entrepreneurship so I know a lot of random stuff but I want to be prepared for the required core courses.

like

Laid off bc of lack of work, told I have a few weeks to find a new job BUT have been getting assigned new projects since then. Wtf do I do?

like

Anyone in FP&A hiring?

like

Biglaw corporate (m&a, vc, cm) lawyers (especially midlevels+)! Do any of you work out regularly? What is your work out schedule? What type of exercises? How many hours do you bill b4 you drop it?

like

Hello — Looking to crowdsource some pros & cons from this knowledgeable group. I have two opportunities. 1: FAANG in Product and 2: Big Pharma. Compensation is more or less equivalent (~300-350k range with Pharma heavy on cash, FAANG heavy on RSUs). What should I be thinking about (long-term trajectory, WLB, future exit opportunities, other)? Appreciate the input in advance.

like

Anyone knows Nike Corp strategy comp package breakdown??

like

For those of you, who work for companies that want to return to in-person work from fall, are you planning to change jobs for a full-time/mostly remote option? I feel my company in financial services tech is thinking backwards, and that I need to move asap.

likefunnyhelpful

What is salary range for a data science consultant in deloitte for a 4+YOE person

like

If you have a negative balance on your credit card (overpay every month) and use it until you go back to zero, do you still earn points/ cash rewards on your usage. Context: I am trying to see if I can essentially use my credit card as a debit card but still earn points at the same time.

like

Anyone have a chase credit card? Have you taken advantage of the pay yourself back option? Share your secret tactics please! :)

likehelpful

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the Fishbowl app

Get realtime notifications and see
what's happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal