{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "would you move back in with your parents if you were fully remote? i earn 90K and am in 24k student loan debt currently paying $1650 in rent. i’m 26f but honestly at this point it’s starting to feel a little silly not to move home and pay $600 in their property tax while i save aggressively. i’m just worried about giving up my independence but it seems a little nonsensical at this point—what would you do in my situation?", "post_id": "61925e6a59166b002adcb01b", "reply_count": 138, "vote_count": 62, "bowl_id": "59064a3cb12379001006592c", "bowl_name": "Personal Investment Chatter", "feed_type": "bowl" }
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would you move back in with your parents if you were fully remote? i earn 90K and am in 24k student loan debt currently paying $1650 in rent. i’m 26f but honestly at this point it’s starting to feel a little silly not to move home and pay $600 in their property tax while i save aggressively. i’m just worried about giving up my independence but it seems a little nonsensical at this point—what would you do in my situation?

likefunny
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I'll give you both sides; what I would say to a younger me and also now as a parent with adult children.

I wish I had spent more time with my parents while they were alive. I spent so much time building my career, and following the path I needed to for success, I didn't spend as much time with them as I should have. My dad died early when I was just 30. From a financial perspective, even a year or two at home, when I could have easily done it would have paid huge dividends over my lifetime. My parents encouraged me to come home a few times but I put too much emphasis on independence, pride, etc. I could have been at home AND helped them financially AND saved money.

As a parent, I have 3 adult children, the oldest your age. He just spent a year at home due to Covid impacting his work and was unemployed. I welcomed him back with open arms. It was a bit rough for him at first. He found a much better job with an amazing career upside and is back out on his own. I will treasure the extra time we were able to spend together and financially he is in a much better place.

Obviously relationships between parents and their children are complex. What worked for us may not work for others. I remember when my kids were in high school I couldn't wait for them to finally leave home as their personalities were so difficult at times. Now that they are growing up into fine adults, I miss having them around.

Regardless of whether you move back or not for financial reasons with your parents, treasure the time you have left to spend with them. Hopefully you have a good enough relationship with them that this will work. Set a finite time frame to stay. It will make them more at ease, and you'll feel better too. You can always reassess as you get closer to that date if things change.

likeupliftinghelpful

I also got to spend great quality time wjth my mother as well in the midst! Quality time that I’ll cherish forever

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Echoing what others have said it depends what’s important to you! I moved back at the beginning of the pandemic, I’ve been here for two years and was so glad to be home during lockdown, now that things are more normal I stay even though I have the money to leave if I want, staying is a choice, granted I have a lot of family things going on I need to be here for but I have friends and family I love here and I love to travel and am gone a lot, 1600 is a lot in rent, I stay here and make my travel dreams come true and am still getting ahead, I just spent three weeks in Mexico and didn’t spend 1600 so it seems like a waste to me (again depends on your priorities) and if you can work remotely you can pick a city and Airbnb for a couple weeks at a time and still be cheaper than your rent and get you some independence (maybe you’ll even find someplace you want to move to) I’m saving a lot of money at home and could buy a house if I wanted to but I’d rather travel and save, the longer I wait too the better down payment and hopefully a better housing market, moving home even for a little bit will help you get ahead even if you only stay for long enough just to get your loans paid off that’s a win! 27F for context, join the dark side :)

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First of all, that rent is wayy too high.

Even doing one year at home could be meaningful for you.

likefunnysmart

Makes sense

I would but for a finite period of time (committing to 12 or 15 months) and then moving back on your own. People’s relationship with their parents can vary a lot, and people thinking it’s never ending can get them on edge at times. Define an end date, set expectations (if you don’t plan to eat with them except for weekends etc), set a financial plan to save x amount during that time, and enjoy. I would do this if I could, but also with the understanding that my parents would drive me a little crazy.

likehelpful

I was in a similar situation and had the same exact worries as you. The money saved and paid towards your debt instead of rent will grant you so much more independence and freedom down the line. I had the same social worries as you but I've been able to keep hanging out with friends (and actually worry less about spending money). There are some sacrifices in terms of extended travel time from my parents to wherever I want to go to hang out but it's a small price to pay and just requires more planning to handle. Romantic life has def been put on the back burner a bit but the tradeoff with the financial freedom being closer is pretty good IMO

like

Personally, yes. Especially if my parents lived someone near or in a city where I had a network. You’ll be able to save aggressively and spend time with your parents. Your future self will thank you.

likehelpful

My parents moved in with me. All the disadvantages (except maybe the food) and I still pay 100% of the mortgage.

Still wouldn't trade it for the world tho

like

honestly from a cost share perspective on food, it makes more sense for me to go home and help pay their tax. my mom would feed me and it would alleviate some time for me to studying for my PMP anyways lol

likeupliftingsmart

If it’s convenient I’d move back with my parents easily you will save a ton of money which can be invested in the meantime.

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Yes. I wish I had that option.

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Do it. Been doing it since Wfh was announced. Don’t regret it as a late 20s because it has set me up for a lifetime of financial security.
It has been nice to spend the time with family and childhood friends.

likefunny

What G1 said. If you just invested $500/year starting from when you were 15 in an index fund you'd be a millionaire. Compound interest adds up the younger you start.

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At age 26 I was married with a mortgage. You could move home, but you might miss out meeting/dating your future spouse which could turn out to be 100x more lucrative than saving a few bucks by crashing on mom and dad’s couch.

likefunny

You need to read what I wrote. You suggested $25K will grow to a million by retirement. I gave you the annual returns required to do that. I know enough about money to have gone from zero (or negative) net worth to $2.8M in 13 years with kids. Didn’t marry rich (but did get married) and I’m also confident living at home wouldn’t have put me in a better (most likely much worse) financial position than I am today. My advice to OP is not to move in with parents for a simple $1K monthly savings. If she wants to move in to start a business, do it! But just for the savings in rent, I say no

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Eh. In other cultures people live at home until they get married. If you’ve got a good relationship with your parents then why not.

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This is something you probably should have considered at the start of the pandemic... don't see why you do it now. I love my parents but would hate to lose my independence (24 M)

likefunny

i didn’t have the option at the start as i had to go into my hospital. i changed positions recently so now it is an option.

like

I did it and don’t regret it at all. At 90k, you could pay off all the loans( assuming rent goes towards loan in addition to current payment), still build a nest egg and have money to socialize .


Your dating life will take a hit as some people may not want to date someone living at home. However, being debt free is freeing and gives you a lot of flexibility in life.

like

This. I stayed at home for two years well before the pandemic and was able to pay off undergrad loans and my car while being able to accumulate some money for b school. Helped me get ahead in life but dating sure took a hit. I was ok with that trade off.

like

I personally think this is the perfect time in your life to spend quality time with your parents. They can respect your boundaries because they know you can live on your own but you also get to be close to them after your college years/crazy early 20s are over. I moved home for 2-3 years at 25 and it completely changed my relationship with my parents for the better! I got to know and appreciate them so much better once I was old enough to get past the angsty phase lol.
The financial component is obviously a no-brained but wanted to give you some other food for thought as well :)

likefunny

Lol at the assumed respect of boundaries

likefunny

It is not like you will live there forever so do it and be debt free and also save for a home

likefunny

Lived with my parents until I was 25 and paid off 65k worth student loans … and now moving back home to save up for a house ….

like

Lived at home until I was 30. Did I stay a little too long? Yep. Did I save up a ton of money? Yep.

likesmartfunny

I moved home for a year and a half. Basically when COVID hit. I had about 20k in debt and paid it all off. And then saved an extra 50k. I just recently moved out again about a month ago. I understand you couldn’t move home during the pandemic, but if you feel like it wouldn’t interrupt your life too much, ie dating or social life, then I say go for it.

like

Wow

Rent seems high for your salary. I prefer living on my own, but if you have a good relationship with your parents why not?

like

I don’t think you have to move back if your main goal is to pay off the 24k.

likesmart

Better yet, get married and enjoy dual income with only one set of living expenses! ;)

funnylikesmart

This is very dangerous advice my friend.

likefunny

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