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Chief
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Making mu fall schedule is crazy!
Who else didn't even make it to midnight????😂
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Chief
What does it mean to be a STEM school?
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Fear until they get to know me, respect once they do.
^not sure it's what I want, but it's what I get regardless of effort.
In the beginning students fear me (they tell me this later in the year) at the end they love me. The short simple answer is R-E-S-P-E-C-T. If they respect you, they will love you, but also know that you will hold them accountable to a higher standard. Fair, firm, and consistent.
I like this! It seems like respect is the middle ground between fear & love that most teachers desire above all else.
Chief
Neither. Respect is what I aim for.
Maybe respect is a good word for the combination of both, or the middle ground between them?
The best teachers fall in both. The hated teachers fall in feared. The I’m your friend and won’t challenge you in effective teachers fall in loved.
The fact is you need to be feared and it doesn’t mean to be a disciplinarian and spiteful. It means kids know when you get mad, you put your foot down, and it ends now. Teachers I know who lack this trait get run over by any age group. When a kid feels they own the classroom you’ve lost.
I won’t say love is needed, but liked is needed. Kids need to like you and see that you care to learn from you. If that turns into a loved, you are doing it right, but you don’t have to be everyone’s favorites. Just likable enough. Teachers who are disliked get their lowest work from their students.
I show them reasons to fear my early on. Maybe a month or so. They get it that I’m in charge and can be cruel if need be and then I loosen up. They always start to take advantage.
I just spoke with my most rambunctious hour on last Monday. They started talking back and acting like I wasn’t in control. I warned them that I could go back to the strict teacher from August at any moment if they want me to. Or we can tone it down a little bit and go back to how it’s been for about 3 months. They’ve been perfect every since. Still talking and laughing, but they won’t question me again for a month or two.
Very interesting. It sounds like your class is lucky to have you! :)
I think it’s more about the balance with the Social Discipline Window: students need High Love with High Expectations. All of one or another isn’t beneficial
I don't think I want either, really. I'd prefer to be respected and appreciated, just as I want my students to feel the same way.
Loved. I'm a sped teacher. It is much easier to get buy in from struggling kids when they love you. I try to have the coolest room, the best snacks, the friendliest conversations, and the quirkiest presentation of myself. The gen Ed kids are openly envious of the kids I go get and they are all excited when I show up It's a 180 from most pull-out/push-in teachers experience. I get the best results because my kids aren't planning how to escape without being seen with me or in my room.
Feared first. Love always.
You've proven me wrong then! :) How do you balance the two?
Pro
Feared. Eventually if they figure out WHY I want them to fear me, they love me, because they realize that the fear is to help them become more responsible, think for themselves, and self-motivate.
Feared. When students fear you, they take you seriously as a teacher. They get their work done because they know you do no tolerate late work.
As a teacher, I believe there is a place for both. Students need to understand boundaries and need to know that they deserve love as well.
Doesn’t matter to me. If they like my class, they can stay. If they don’t, I will help them as much as possible to transfer them out. When they become adults they’ll have to learn to adapt to people anyway. Hopefully when they have a boss/manager/supervisor that they fear, that same person they fear or love will help them find another job. Love me or Hate me, I’m here to do my job to the best of my ability.
I’m a coach as well. If an athlete is not responding to my coaching, well let’s go find you a coach that you relate with. Why not set them up for success if you cannot influence them. Teaching isn’t any different. I don’t need them to respect me or love me, just respect the position and I’ll respect you as a fellow human. That’s all we have sometimes.
My students love me but fear me when I'm mad. They don't make me mad often.
I would like to be loved and students do what is expected out of love. But, if they don't obey out of love, then I'm okay with feared and them do what is expected because they know there will be consequences. Above all, I want them to that THEY are loved!
It is also your teaching style. For me my students always loved or hated me. In 38 years that is how it has always been.
Would you mind sharing a little more? What about your teaching style made them feel that way, in your opinion?
I would rather be loved. I think when your students love you, they will respect you and things will go much smoother. I've seen teachers take the fear route and it backfired badly
Interesting question. I would rather be loved by many because love breeds respect and appreciation while fear breeds curse and contempt.
Imo, it is better to be feared than to be loved, if one cannot be both. When you look at it, fear is a better motivator than love, which is why it is the more effective tool for leaders.
This is controversial take but I think I would choose to be feared. Of course, it would be best to be both loved and feared. But since the two rarely come together, anyone compelled to choose will find greater security in being feared than in being loved.
Feared 🤷♀️ At the end of the day, I still have my tenured job… could care less if they hate me. 🤷♀️
Positive impact… 🙄… At the end of the day / month / year… it’s just a job, with a paycheck. The students just show up, come and go, eventually graduate. Next. But it’s nice to dream while drinking the kool-aid.