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What makes employees the happiest?
61% utilization as a first year associate. RIP
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How many points should I ask for? Story cont...
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The BA hits me up for a drink post study
Just another day in green dot paradise
She’s a 10 but she hardcoded the model
You get a consulting offer but it is from KPMG *copied*
Non-BCG consultants when BCG raised their comp again without canceling retreats
When your company says unlimited pto, but in reality it’s none
Chief
Unlimited PTO is a scam
Chief
A) When you're the company hired to implement a MBB tech strategy and see what it entails
B) Deloitte
C) When you're a SM with nearly PMD responsibilities but 1/2 the pay
D) Deloitte
E) When you're a 23 year old analyst and have to choose between offers of $135k and $140k and realize how underpaid and behind you are
F) Deloitte
G) When you realize no one outside of the insular consulting world cares about the "prestige" of your company
H) Deloitte
I did not get the promotion despite being white and gay
Chief
Agreed
I got hired at McKinsey, it turns out they pay the equivalent of what our janitors make at my previous firm
Rising Star
Bro, you previously work for the Saudis?
Got pulled into a video meeting with the partner just as I felt the urge to poop… 3 hours in and there’s a turtle peeking and my glutes are on fire…
Another plz fix joke at my expense
I am a Senior Consultant and you're asking me to take meeting notes?
Pro
When you get staffed on your next project after another FAANG rejection
Rising Star
Principal asked to pls fix but has been OOO with the deck checked out on SharePoint
Pro
Meeting with partner and hr comes through on a Friday
> Hears Teams ping sound
> Looks at clock, sees that it’s 7:30 PM
> *curses to self* “Yeah, I can get on a quick call”
> mfw
Please fix by end of day
Chief
I just had to fire all my employees and I feel really really bad about it because despite what you think not every business leader is heartless.
Rising Star
My other yacht sank. No not that one, the other one.
“I forgot to turn in my time sheet”…..
Send me the updated slide deck by today. Checks time. It’s 11:58 pm.
You are fired