{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "y’all i’ve high key had a big crush on one of my closest male friends forever but i feel like i shouldn’t shoot my shot cause he’s going to reject me because i’ve had a baby and gained a little weight (that i’m working to lose).", "post_id": "5eed6b457c5066002a342be5", "reply_count": 29, "vote_count": 3, "bowl_id": "5e6fe1c31f5e51001d267e46", "bowl_name": "The Work-Life Bowl", "feed_type": "bowl" }

y’all i’ve high key had a big crush on one of my closest male friends forever but i feel like i shouldn’t shoot my shot cause he’s going to reject me because i’ve had a baby and gained a little weight (that i’m working to lose).

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In this situation, a lot of people make the mistake of a huge feelings declaration. The best thing to do is pursue this like any regular romantic relationship- start to break the “friend” barrier, move into flirting territory, and if that goes well ask him on a date. If you overload the other person with something major like telling them you’ve always secretly been in love with them, it can be too much pressure and kill the whole thing. Good luck!

likesmarthelpful

I have to agree with Producer 1, here. Rom-coms make people think a Huge Feelings Declaration is the way to go. But umm, no. That's good for Hollywood, bad for real life. Horrible in real life. It puts too much pressure on the other person, especially if they don't see it coming. Try going out for drinks (when that's a thing again), and being a little flirty, but not so over the top that they have to shut you down if they're not interested. Gently touch their forearm once or twice during conversation. If they move away, that's your signal to back off. If they reciprocate being flirty, see where it goes, but gently.

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Umm, the weight or the fact that you’re a mom? Bc dating a mom is a whole level up.

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we’re rooting for you 👏

likeuplifting

What proof do you have that he will reject you? Is he a fat-phobic baby hater?? Go for it, sis. You’re already a superstar because you grew a human!

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this is the uplifting i NEED!

likeuplifting

I developed a crush on my closest friend in college 3 years into our friendship. I asked her out, got rejected and our relationship isn't the same as it was. (This is 15 yrs ago - we are still in touch) If I had to go back in time I would do it all over again. When you are in love with someone like you are it makes you incredibly vulnerable. You almost encourage the other person to take advantage of you. They can also end up hurting you without meaning to. This situation is not fair on you. I would ask him out and get it over with. I'm not trying to lessen the emotional pain that this might cause. I would advise hiring a therapist to help you through the turmoil. With love.

likeuplifting

Go for it. Your situation is a little more complicated than mine was but at the end of the day, you’re just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her. (I kissed my close guy friend and we have now been together for 10+ years, happily married.)

likeuplifting

awww this is the best kind of story!

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Just get him drunk and take advantage of him.

likefunny

💯

Let me help you as a fellow male. You make the whole process super easy by asking us out! Go for it!

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@attorney What does that do to your friendship? Well, right now it’s not a friendship it’s a crushship until there’s a move. Crushships don’t budge.

Are you single? Ready to jingle?

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i am

Go for it!

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Out of curiosity what is his view on you having a child. My close female friend we are brutally honest with each other and I would tell her when she was making a huge mistake with a guy. Not out of jealousy out of love for her despite her being older then me. I'm asking only because this should provide you with an idea of his feelings around you.

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She specifically mentioned having a baby, so that may be a separate potential issue in addition to retaining some weight. Depends on how you parse the OP, and if the guy is ready for the big step that is dating someone with a child.

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How old is that baby? 2 days or 9 months? You got family support that can help out, give you two some space if it does kick off? Raising humans is exhausting.

she actually just turned 9 months 😂 but yes, i do.

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