{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Y'all my biggest dating challenge so far is that I do not want kids. I keep running into people who are good people but they want kids 🤦🏾‍♀️\n\nFor 🐠, who choose to be child-free, how do you navigate. What kind of advice you can give me?", "post_id": "61e8a56171c3b90026eeb3df", "reply_count": 71, "vote_count": 12, "bowl_id": "5e8656b80bdab1002a7355dc", "bowl_name": "Confession ", "feed_type": "bowl" }

Y'all my biggest dating challenge so far is that I do not want kids. I keep running into people who are good people but they want kids 🤦🏾‍♀️ For 🐠, who choose to be child-free, how do you navigate. What kind of advice you can give me?

likefunny
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Didn’t want kids and neither did my wife but four years ago, we accidentally conceived and well..four years later and I’ll say “best accident ever”. I love my daughter more than anything and couldn’t imagine life without her.

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It's a trend in the bowl A1. You ask about how the preference is to be child-free and everyone flocks who ended up accidentally having kids and how wonderful it is. 🙄

Just let them know that early on upfront. If they do want kids trust me they’re not the person for you and that’s okay. You have to understand if they choose to be with you and not have kids they’ll be unhappy. If you change your mind for the relationship you’ll be unhappy no one wins in that situation.

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Do what’s best. You’ll fine someone on board. I agree though it’s kinda hard to find people without kids or those who don’t want to start a family soon. I’m in my 30’s and it’s difficult to find.

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Be upfront about the fact that you don’t want kids early on. When I met my husband I was crystal clear that I did not want children and luckily he was also in the childfree camp.

likefunny

Aren’t they respecting your decision and deciding to move on right now. MC1only provided one possible solution, that’s not not respecting you

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Have your SO watch my kids for a day, it’ll be the most effective birth control imaginable…

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Looooove not having kids! Definitely don’t have kids out of pressure if you don’t want them. That won’t end well for anyone. There are guys out there that want to live kid-free too. Stick to your guns.

likeupliftingsmartfunny

The only older people would be married Partners in my DM.. so jks But I will definitely think about your advice

likefunny

Waiting for that person to link to the child free bowl. Any moment now. ⏱

likefunny

gs6zc here is the code

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41 and divorced. No kids ROCKS. No kids SAVED my divorce.

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We’re very good friends now 😊

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I'm nearly 40 and so is my SO. Took forever to find him, glad I was honest with everyone else I dated about not wanting kids because he doesn't either. Continue to be honest.

likeuplifting

How old are you OP? Maybe consider dating older (35+). Though you may run into divorced ppl with kids. You good with being a step mom?

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Isn’t dating about learning new stuff? I’m obviously simplifying it but I’m a nutshell, there’s physical attraction then it gets much deeper. For example, finding someone who makes you feel things you didn’t know you felt? My wife constantly surprises me and I’m continually grateful (not every day is perfect but I hope you understand the point I’m trying to make.) Further, to clarify, I’m not suggesting to change your viewpoint. I’m only saying take the mental constraints off entering a relationship. Always be you and express / communicate your feelings but also be open to learning and embracing the unknown. Enjoy the journey and be less focused on your current viewpoint of the destination.

helpful

I was very upfront and luckily even he didn't want any kids. 7 years married and 13 years together - we have fun and are loving child-free life!

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Sending me some of your lucky stars too SC

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Lowkey same

funny

Ya’ll should meet

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I didn’t want kids and then it happened 😖

likeuplifting

She’s 2 and she’s awesome

likeuplifting

Just be honest. It will save you from spending time w someone who isn’t aligned

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Agree CIO. If a man I was dating told me he didn’t want to have children that’d be a deal breaker for me. I definitely know women who stick around in the hopes they’ll change their mind, makes no sense to me.

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Kids is something that can’t be compromised on so you have to find someone who sees it the same way. I think giving up kids as even a possibility is way too hard for most. Most people at least want to think about it.

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I can only 🛠️ so much from Day 1. No accidental pregnancies happening anywhere 🙅🏾‍♀️

I mean you just need to be upfront about it. I have three kids but it was something my wife and I both wanted. Don’t try to change the other person I have watched this explode relationships of friends all the time.

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Your most welcome.

It’s tough, that’s for sure.

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Tell them you have a hysterectomy so they know it’s not an option even. Then if they stick around tell them that was a deterrent

I didn’t mean it like that, more like an empowered women doing what she wants with her body. If you prefer being upfront then let that be the first thing or one of the first things that come up in convo. Let them know. If they chose to continue unfortunately there’s really nothing else i can think of that would deterr them

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