You don’t need everyone to like you. The only people I care about liking me is my manager, and who they report to, they influence how much I get paid. I’ll be nice and courteous, but I’m not gonna sweat if someone doesn’t like me. Thoughts?

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I’m more concerned with the people who are under me having a positive view of me than I am the people over me.

In my experience, the former typically yields results that lead to the latter.

likesmart

But why/how would you find your way into a situation where random people in the office don’t like you?

Sure, there is always going to be some random person who is unbalanced and decides they just want to hate you for some reason. But if I found myself in a situation where a non-trivial amount of “random people” had something against me, I’d probably be a little introspective.

You can’t please everyone, sure. But consulting, above all else, is a team-based, collaborative process. It’s a challenge to succeed if there are sizable numbers of people who don’t want to work with you, regardless of your position relative to theirs.

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I disagree with this way of thinking. You never know who is connected to who. If someone is out to get you, even if they’re a peer or more junior than you, they may be well connected to someone on the comp committee. The last thing you want - especially in a large firm - is for someone to trash talk you or say you’re difficult to work with. Also, those people may be promoted more quickly than you and get an even higher level of influence in the company. Not everyone has to like you, but you should aim to be respected and valued across the board.

likesmart

Agree, logical pov

I see nothing wrong with this approach. Very few people in life actually matter. It's up to us to identify them.

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Sounds like you are a first year. That approach will work your first couple years but won’t get you far past that

likesmart

We all are.

Mate, your family and friends need to like you

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In the context of work. This is a given

And then what happens when one of the people "below you" gets promoted?

Like others said in this thread, I am largely more concerned about having a motivated team working with me.

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I’m more puzzled why you asked for our thoughts if you don’t care what people think. 🤔

funny

To stress test my thinking

People talk, everything’s a popularity contest to some degree. Do other peers in your role like you and hold you in high esteem? Cause that’s how you develop a brand and a following. Think about building your pyramid below you and that’s how you rise up. Think about how you partner with peers to move the needle. A rising tide raises all boats, then everybody gets paid more including you.

Not even to your parents? Siblings? SO? Or offspring?

I’ve realized the longer you’re at a place the more you’ll run into the same people. Beyond a point you can’t not care about people. You’ve no idea how somebody can influence you five years down the road… and i hate it coz they’re total a$$es but I wish I’d been ‘nicer’

IMHO it’s much better for us all to turn this mindset around and say “who can I help?”, while also realizing that we most help people by giving our honest opinions instead of avoiding conflict. Easier said than done, but can definitely be done.

“The Go-giver” is a fantastic book on this in business.

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