You message someone on Okcupid and they like you back but never reply to your initial message. Hasn’t been the first time it’s happened either. I know conversation-less matches on tinder are a thing..

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As a girl, sometimes I'm on the fence about guys I swipe right on, and then when we match I realize I'm not actually interested enough to put in the effort. Kinda shitty, I know

likehelpful

Ugggh
It literally happens with all the matches I get!
How hard is to say thanks but swiped wrong, my bad, good luck or sorry busy but interested?! I think it’s such a bitchass move! You can’t complain about being single if you don’t engage!

likeuplifting

I'm a guy. I generally find it rare when women message me. And, while I think I can talk to anyone anywhere, a lot of the time I have nothing to say to this collection of pictures I'm just visually attracted to on shallow level. Beyond "Hey, let's share some cocktails and conversation," or something tangentially related to their profile, I often have nothing. And it's not like any of our profiles really help. Half are generic (I don't care what you're Myers-Briggs is, or that your 'grateful' and love to travel), or so overloaded they feel like an overshare (you're an awesome aunt? That's a big red flag). Most of the time I'm thinking, "Hey, you're hot and I want to kiss you" which is tres creepy. But I will say, if they're not trying to chat you up, they're probably a boring first date...and boring in other places.

likeuplifting

Thanks, good insight. Much appreciated. I wasn't saying that I actually say that...I was just making the general point that I don't really have anything to say to most of the people I "like" because I don't have any context for them...it's almost like they're not real. I much prefer randomly bumping into someone...then I have some context. But I'll take all the help I can get. So thank-you again!

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A lot of the time, people don’t reply because they start seeing someone and want to see where it goes and don’t respond to people because of that. It’s just timing.

likehelpful

I was just offering a woman’s perspective on how I take that specific message when I receive it, because it’s actually a fairly common first message that women receive. Trying to be helpful, actually...offering my personal perspective isn’t actually being judgmental of men, or of you as a person, it’s letting you know how I have reacted in that position. Just having a friendly conversation like adults do. Feel free to attack me further for somehow inadvertently belittling your masculinity, I’m used to it, I’m on dating apps!

likefunny

I give it 24hrs and then next!
No one has time for that and that person has already made their 1st impression about how they feel about trying to get to know/their interest level.
#Unmatch

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Also anytime a guy has opened with “I think you’re beautiful and want to kiss you” I have ignored him because that is toooo much. Would you say that to a stranger on the street? No, because it’s creepy af. Rein it in.

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And CW1, if you really think a woman telling her perspective and sharing her opinion is that bad, I’d question whether I’m the one whose personality sucks.

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@C1 Seems like you're projecting your own shitty personality and insecurities here.

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The problem with visual dating is people don't know what to say and, when they do, it's often just joke or a neg. It's like cold calling or walking up to someone in a bar...you'll find an excuse not to do it.

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@CW1 I think if you phrased that to I think you’re beautiful and I think it would be nice to kiss you. That might get you some love?! I mean I wouldn’t be mad at someone who I was intrigued by saying that to me. It’s not as hard as it may seem. I think we all tend to over think this stuff. As long as you’re not a crass douche bag and have some tact with your approach ladies will engage.

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@Publicis- I hope what ever it is you do doesn't require a proficiency in reading comprehension.

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CW1, I wasn’t responding to you, I was responding to BAM1, but thanks for your excellent reading comprehension

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@Publicis1 I was just sharing my perspective on how that dynamic could possibly play out.
Now a direct approach doesn’t work for everyone but I appreciate direct and I’ll take it from there as to how to reign it in or dismiss etc.
One persons creepy AF may be another persons interest.
Want to judge me fine.
Different strokes for different folks!

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@Publicis- I hope you're pretty because your personality sucks.

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@Publicis- You're one of those people who gets super judgemental and then immediately defensive when called on it. You sound like an an absolute joy.

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but why like back if you’re not gonna say anything? 🙄

@BA1: do you follow up (depressingly to your own initial note) or leave it and move on?

@CW1: have you found it challenging with the non-replies even with your skill set as a writer?

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