Chief
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senior sales executive at atp
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Looking for a job in PMO role please help
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So, I’ve actually (unwillingly) job hopped so much that I basically had to turn this exact concept into my own, personal social experiment.
The problem is (pretty much) ALWAYS management. When you’ve been in Retail & Restaurant for about 7 years, you realize that your interactions with customers are temporary and you can use that to learn how to cope with the BS you deal with from the awful ones.
Management? You’re with them your WHOLE shift. You are interacting with them on a daily basis, and since a lot of Americans (especially in the hospitality industry) likely spend more time at work than home to keep up with living expenses, your interactions with them and their opinions of you are going to be more impactful than the ones you have with customers because they ultimately determine whether or not you have a job.
Especially in retail and restaurant, these are typically what I call “teenager jobs”: jobs that are likely to be a teenager’s first job. Thus, they tend to have extremely clique-y and gossipy atmospheres. Because emotional maturity isn’t required. If you can fit in to what the staff considers “normal”, and you’re really good at kissing up to management, you’ll have a job for years.
Those of us who have reasonable mistrust in authority, because they prove time and time again that we shouldn’t trust them, are left behind because of a fundamental flaw in the management field: nobody in management is required to get therapy and work on their BS, or go through sensitivity training. And the people most likely to last in those jobs have serious control issues, because exploitation is rewarded in corporate roles, only increasing the higher you go.
The reason that the issue is always management is because of the power dynamic. When you mix people who don’t need to go to therapy, who are encouraged not to be class conscious, with a position of authority over whether or not you can pay your bills (because you have to provide 2 weeks notice and they don’t), you get reactionary people who, if they perceive you as incompetent based on opinion and bias instead of fact and inquiry, or a genuine reason to fire someone like harassing people, they can just fire you at will because they decided they didn’t like you for whatever reason. Yes, you’re also with your co-associates your whole shift, but authority is not part of their job description.
They’ll call you in for a one on one (or multi-manager on one) ambush. By that I mean, give you the illusion that they care about your side of the story, but most of the time, they’ll use anything you say against you, and then just come out with how they think you’re incompetent at your job and there isn’t anything you can say to change your mind really. And if you say no to the ambush, you also risk being fired. You can tell them how many customers have loved your service (which is like the entire purpose of hospitality) and how many you’ve made regulars out of because of that. They don’t care, because just like you, they view customers as numbers too. They only have to act like they care about their opinions about anything.
They’ll lie in interviews and say that they value their employees because…it’s illegal not to. This is the only reason. They could be sued thanks to the EEOC sticker slapped onto every job description and employee handbook. They don’t have to believe in equal opportunity. They just have to say that they’ve said it and this is legally valid in court. Especially if you didn’t record anything as proof of things like discrimination or harassment. This is why you can’t trust the sugar-coated BS in the handbook, but you can also fully read the policies and expectations. The company tells on itself in very specific ways if you know that to look for. Ultimately, you just have to observe the environment.
So, to my findings: they’ll be nice, or “fake kind” (because there is a difference), for a while and then, I’ve noticed, those niceties officially start to decay on average of about 3 months. They psychologically can’t keep this up forever. It’s like moving schools as a kid and planning to pretend you’re a completely different, cooler person than you are when you start (I specifically wanted to pretend to have a British accent lol), only to forget about it immediately. They’ll start doubling down on the harassment of their target employees, the ones who don’t participate in their clique.
The only ways you can really detect it earlier is by asking up front, in the interview, questions that will expose how they align (or not) with your beliefs and immediate, on-hire, analytical observation. Don’t let the thrill of a new job blind you from the red flags. You can catch things sooner than three months if you take off the rose-colored glasses and pay attention. But for someone that hasn’t, it is usually realized within 3 months — whether or not they choose to do anything about it or stick up for themselves.
I value employee appreciation above all else (not just during E.A week, but year-round). Without us as a bridge, corporate wouldn’t have a company because management isn’t going to, or isn’t going to be able to, take care of customers, and do everything else.
In interviews, I will ask things like, “WHAT was the most recent idea they’ve implemented from an associate”, and “How do you make your employees feel supported at ____?” Usually, using words claimed on the description, website, etc.
If I get answers like, “pizza party”, “swag (that you have to buy with your own money)”, “gift cards”, “team building activities (with no or very lackluster examples)”, “open-door policy (which again is fundamentally flawed due to power dynamic)”, etc. these are extremely red flags.
You also start to notice that they’ll just paraphrase what you’ve said and plagiarize your words to make something up sometimes.
Unfortunately, because of the tumbleweed-infested job market, if one of these places offers you a job, you kinda have to accept it. And you are unwillingly perpetuating the cycle, but it lets you know that it should be treated as temporary until hopefully a compatible opportunity comes along. Which, the social burnout and insanity these situations cause are why I constantly have to jump ship, unless I’m fired for above reasons. I am autistic and ADHD, and unable to mask. Authority hates this and my related sense of justice.
Finding a job that isn’t like this extremely rare because they’re usually very good at keeping their employees, so there are almost never openings.
If they’re unafraid to call out the industry in highlighting their deconstructed, refocused practice, and give in-depth, personal answers, or they mention bonuses or pay increases of substantial amounts, and it’s already a pretty high paying job, this is the greenest flag you can get. Unless you get the shiny ultra-rare job that believes in equal, livable salaries, meaning regardless of “heirarchy”, everyone gets the same, sustainable pay.
TL;DR - So yeah, depending on your situational awareness, the average time it takes to realize a place isn’t for you is about 3 months, when the niceties from management disintegrate and their true colors show. The opportunity won’t last, because emotionally immature management won’t let it.
Pro-Tip: If/when applicable, find out the laws about recording in your state and if you can have a recording device on you as long as you’re in the room with it , and get proof of discrimination and harassment, or if you have to specifically get consent by everyone. This can help if you SHOULD ever need to sue the company. Please do, as it’s always morally correct to take the money of a company that exploits you as a worker.
Chief
This was an amazing read! And all true! I have learned to see red flags MUCH earlier. With starting a new job, I notice these things, some which can be changed and most that cannot be. I don’t gossip, I think it contributes to toxicity and I can’t stand it. I don’t subscribe to the idea of cliques, and it’s always come back to bite me because I refuse to “align” with a certain group, and I don’t participate in gossip. I find it baffling that people can’t just do their jobs…at their job. Both management and hourly employees tend to have such attitude issues that I am sometimes at a loss, and ready to quit, to not have to endure it. The hardest part of my job really is having to deal with other employees. If I could work alone, I would. It’s been extremely difficult to find like minded people, who want to create a genuinely pleasurable environment to work in. They don’t understand that work you have to put in to make that happen; that means upholding standards and not letting folks come in and spread toxicity by way of gossip, negativity and bad attitudes. Mgmt make it seem like they’re building such an amazing environment and team and when you get it, you realize they’re “major” team players are the ones usually responsible for spreading/facilitating the toxicity. I’m at a point in my life and career when I just don’t want to deal with it. At all. I want happiness, peace and positivity. I know it’s NOT too much to ask for. Mgmt of these companies needs to actually invest in and foster the environment they claim to be building, because I can see right through them when they don’t.
I can usually tell within a few weeks, I try to give a place a chance but there’s only so much you can take depending on the circumstances!
Chief
Agreed! Some environments are so toxic that even a few weeks is too much to stand. I typically try to change what I can to see if I can make the environment better, but if I can’t, I see my way out eventually