I was told I was “a strong candidate” but not the strongest.
That sentence has been replaying in my head more than it should. Why would you tell someone that...

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The generous interpretation is that these people don't think about how their words will land. The less generous is that they just don't care. Whatever the case may be, I hope you take some measure of comfort from having made it far enough in the process to be deemed strong. You're clearly doing something right. Just need to keep at it.

I agree, intention and impact often get missed in hiring conversations. Being labelled “strong” without context can linger more than a clear no. I am trying to hold onto the fact that getting that far still means something, even if the wording was careless.

Perhaps the person was just being too honest. That is the way it can work. You can go into an interview and do a great job but someone else may do a little better. I've seen people compare it to races in the Olympics where someone does a phenomenal job and still loses by a fraction of a second. I assume the person meant what they said in a positive way, indicating you were a strong candidate. Next interview, go in and crush it and edge out anyone else.

That makes sense logically, but emotionally it still lands hard. Being close without crossing the line can hurt more than an outright rejection. I will take it as proof I am competitive, even if the feedback delivery could have been kinder.

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