I’m thinking about proposing to my gf of ~2.5 years but there’s something that’s kind of eating away at me and I need perspective. My sisters aren’t crazy about her. They don’t dislike her or think she’s a bad person, but I know she’s not what they envisioned for me and have made this clear. I know I’m the one who’s going to be with her not then, but this is weighing on me because I also envisioned someone my family would be excited about and love, not just be lukewarm neutral about. Cont

In my opinion, response to your Q depends a lot on cultural setting as well. For someone from a culture where family matters a lot - this may create some issues down the road and you’ll be constantly between a rock and a hard place. While in some cultures, where primary families matter only once or twice a year and what matters is the family you two create - this may be okay as long as you two are strong and loving together without worrying about what anyone’s family or friends think.

That said, does your girlfriend make an effort to dress up, build relationships etc. with others but she’s different with your family? Or is she consistently like this?

In the end, like you know already, it’s you two together against every problem and issue life throws at either/ both of you. If you two can talk and have an agreed understanding when it comes to family issues - it’d help strengthen your relationship by providing clarity. And if you can’t and haven’t yet - see if this is how issues will be dealt with forever in your life forward.

I come from a big family w six sisters and one brother. Do I like all my brothers in law?
No, not especially. Do I hate them? Heck no, but some do annoy me if I’m around them for too long and one is lazier than all get out-never offers to help…ever! Are all of my brothers in law part of the family? Absolutely, 1000% my oldest sister has been married for 41years. Would we have picked him for her? No but she picked him and that’s what matters. My personal favorite bil died from ALS . You never know what comes your way on life.

My family isn’t the same without my in laws. And yes, I like my sister in law. Are we best friends? No ! My point is, your soon to be fiancé doesn’t have to be best friends w your siblings, as long as she can get along to go along and they know that YOU are happy.
If you want and choose this person in your life to share your future adventures w- you should go for it. IMO It is a choice, you’re choosing to commit to this person and love this other person for life. If that doesn’t sit well, you made your choice.

I understand wanting your family to be as equally as excited about your person as you are. But not everybody has visibility into all the nuances and synchronicities that brought you together in the first place so if they aren’t going above and beyond to make a memorable impression on family and close friends then I am not surprised they are so indifferent or apathetic. I don’t know how long you’ve been with this person or if you have other options but personally as someone whose had more long term relationships than single spells, your person should go all in and vice versa.

I envisioned my close circle meeting my eventual partner and thinking “what a great match he found “ and admire her, but that is not really the case. I think people are generally underwhelmed and think I could have done better for the lack of a better word. Some of this is caused by my gf who has not shown the care or effort to make a good impression with those closest to me. Nothing disrespectful, but also not going that extra step to impress and connect when initially forming that relationship with your partner’s close circle. She also generally is not someone who puts much effort into dressing up, being social, showing warmth etc.

In any case, the lack of enthusiasm and admiration regarding the person I’m with is making me feel like I’m settling. I know it’s not good to seek validation, but I’m genuinely afraid this is going to carry on and affect my relationship down the road. I don’t want to be disappointed.

I don’t know what to do.

Have you had any conversations with your family on this? Are you excited to marry this person? Don’t string her along if marriage is what she wants.

Are you the same one that posted about your mom visiting and your gf not wanting to go meet up with her and your sisters?