I’ve got the attention of a narcissist and he’s been relentless in his bullying behavior over the past year. I’ve documented it, taken it to my leadership, and taken it to HR but it’s only gotten worse as others have tried to curb it. He’s enabled by another small but powerful cadre that admit he’s “hard to work with” but they think he’s brilliant and that with “the good comes the bad”. Any techniques or advice on how to make it stop without quitting?

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Grey rock strategy. Google it.

Sorry :(

helpfullike

I don’t think it means look like a low performer. I think you basically just don’t respond to this person. But other than that, you shine. I’m so sorry OP.

like

This is a real issue! Amy Cuddy’s book due in 2025, Bullies, Bystanders and Bravehearts, I HOPE will bring awareness and change. She’s been on a few podcasts just search and as someone in a similar situation listening brought me to tears as she describes all the stages—through the loneliness and depression this can bring. The firm will protect the firm/HR/legal and never admit fault here and employment laws currently don’t recognize bullying. I’m in a similar situation and I all I can say is either accept it or find a new job there aren’t ways around this and the stress is not worth it.

like

Ooo adding to my book list. And agree about the stress isn’t worth it. No one or any company is worth your peace of mind.

If there is no way to not overlap at work with those individuals: you either fully accept the situation and stop “fighting back” or move out. Seems there is nobody there to stood up for you. Sometimes leaving early before you are destroyed gives you a great chance finding another job where you will shine again and be successful. If you wait too long and even manage to “succeed” pushing your bullies (out or “down”) would leave permanent marks on your mental state and be more damaging long term.

like

My heart goes out to you in this very stressful and imposing time. You worked hard to get where you are and this individual has no cares or worries.

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I appreciate that - I’ve just been in such a horrible state over it and it’s so, so, SOOOO emotionally unsettling. I raised a confidential legal concern that we took corrective action on but since these things are handled by partners, everyone knows I’m the rat. It’s really bad

I hate to write this but in my experience you only have one way to address it. Restraining order which will lead you to be isolated or put on a PIP. Which results in you leaving or being fired. I have yet to hear of a circumstance like this go differently.

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