I’m a new partner and a lateral and I’m struggling how to balance being friends with senior associates and counsels without being inappropriate or too informal (or not diplomatic enough) or accidentally revealing something I probably shouldn’t have now that there is a title difference. Anyone have a similar situation? Any advice? TIA!

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I stopped worrying about it so much. At the end of the day, I spend too much time at work with my colleagues to worry about how I come off to people when I’m in friend mode. It’s actually well recognized when I am in “person” mode versus “lawyer/boss” mode, and my people appreciate that I am human just like them.

The line is really when it comes to confidential or “partner level” matters. I’ve defaulted to just being blunt about it - “I’m not at liberty to discuss that” or “that’s something the partners will need to discuss further” is usually accepted with grace.

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F

There’s nothing wrong with establishing a congenial relationship with your boss or senior associates. In fact, I encourage you to build those relationships!

You will need these networks in the future 😎

A few caveats:

1. In social environments, remember that you are ALWAYS at the office. The decorum you would practice at the office should be the same at the bar, restaurant, conference, etc.

2. Watch the stories that you share at work. Whether they are from social media or your own personal stories use your discernment.

If it feels as if you shouldn’t share it - then DON’T.

3. Stay clear of gossiping.

When a senior colleague starts gossiping….

* Stay silent
* Change the subject quickly

We assume senior management knows better, so it must be OK to indulge in gossip with them. No, it’s not😉

As a corporate consultant, these are the 3 most common (deadly) pitfalls I’ve found people fall prey to when the lines between social & professional are blurred.

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