Moms in Big Law with multiple kids: how do you do it? I have two young ones and I feel big law is crushing on my values and goals as mom. I know many successful moms attorneys so I know it’s possible but wonder how you juggle the two cause I assume the hours of work are there so when/how do see you kids go to practice etc. (if you go consistently do you feel like you’re still more focused on work while there? No judgement just curiosity. 🫶

Nothing in the world has been a great for my relationship with my kids as leaving big law.

I do school drop offs and pick ups. I get to go to assemblies and after school events. And going on a field trip with my third grader for the first time in his school life was so amazing. He literally thanked me for it and I just melted.

There are for sure people who manage, but I wanted to be a present mom and that absolutely wasn't happening for me in big law (routinely working until at least 10p, with dozens of later nights plus weekends).

I wish you luck, it wasn't the right option for me to stay.

My husband is a stay at home dad.

3 kids. I recently left big law to move to a small firm and my life is so much better. No more logging on after bed time and my weekends are uninterrupted. I did not want the life the partners in dual-income households have at my prior firm (missing kid events, two nannies, canceling vacations).

I thought I was successful because there was always enough work to hit my hours and I had the “ultimate flexibility” to work remotely a few times a week. But for the last few years, I worked almost every weekend and on every vacation. I was never fully present with my family because work was all consuming. I could not do it forever.

I obviously took a pay cut, but making 100k less base salary is well worth it for me.

I'm at a (mostly) lifestyle firm and have one kid and a husband with a very flexible work schedule, and it's still challenging. I have no idea how people do it with multiple kids, or two parents in serious careers, or any kind of biglaw demands. Also no judgment at all, just tons of respect.

I’m starting a reduced hours schedule, and I’m practicing saying no in myriad creative ways. I found that it would be too much on a full schedule, but I think it will be doable at 80%. (And 80% pay at big law is still just fine.)

But I also think I have some re-wiring to do on what it means to be a good mom. I think I would probably always feel like I’m not doing enough—even if I were a SAHM. I’m trying to make concrete goals of what being engaged means to me—e.g., doing drop offs/pick ups X number of times per week, family dinners, school events, etc. Then, see if I can make those things happen as my priorities. Then adjust from there.

I left biglaw when I found out I was pregnant with my third. She is two now, I got to be with her for every single milestone. It was worth it for me.

I am planning to ask for reduced hours after my second is born (currently pregnant). This isn’t sustainable for me. (Big law NEP)

I have been in big law for 7 years and have 2 young kids. I tried to do whatever I could to find a better “balance” — I am 80%, my parents live nearby and help with the kids, I went on anxiety meds and maintain productivity during the week with adderall. Yet, even with all of this, I still don’t feel like I found a great “balance” and see myself leaving big law in <2 years to go in-house. The pay has been unbelievable, but the partners all seem miserable at my Firm, and all in all, partnership just doesn’t seem like it’s worth it.

I’m on a reduced hours schedule and I work from home. I also have a full-time nanny (kids aren’t in school yet) and a part-time family assistant that help things run smoothly. And that’s all on top of my husband contributing his share to our house running smoothly.

I’m on reduced hours and pretty much exclusively work from home.

Reduced schedule, full time telework, and I step away from my computer quite a bit throughout the day. I’m very present for my kids. I greet them with snack after school, coach sports, etc. BigLaw has been easier for me because my team has a global practice and everyone is in different time zones (including clients). There’s nothing magic about being at a desk at 3 PM.

Do you really know many successful mom attorneys in Big Law?

If so, ask them - and then come back to tell us their secrets 😂

F