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Many people do leave earlier. My husband and I will switch days so I’m not leaving everyday early. I think generally people understand. I had kids pre-pandemic and I would get looks and comments about “taking a half day” when I left the office at 5 - even if I worked later that night. But now that we have the tools to be able to still be connected outside of the office so it’s not looked down on as much.
I’m in a similar situation, my commute is about 2 hours and I always leave early. I keep working on the train and at nights after my toddler goes to bed (if necessary). I usually don’t get looks, this is not optional, I have a kid that needs to be picked up.
Do you both work on the same days? When my spouse and I were both working in- office 5 days, we’d split duties: one would drop off, the other would pick up - and the pickup parent would go into office earlier to “make up” for leaving “early.” This was pre pandemic - I do think things are different now.
Yep leave at 4 and work on the train. Block your calendar and don’t apologize. You work past 5 from home I’m sure. Pre Covid, I left at 4:45- we were one of the families that was always last or 2nd to last to pick up from daycare and it sucked. My kids are older now but every time we drive past after care (when they were in elementary school) they say “remember when we were always last to be picked up”? The worst. They are totally fine but the guilt!!