Anyone else feel like they have to rehearse every email to avoid drama? I spend so much time rewriting simple messages, adding “just” to soften things, sprinkling in smiley faces, and overthinking punctuation to avoid sounding “too direct.” I once spent 15 minutes drafting a four-sentence reply because I knew my manager would twist my tone if I wasn’t careful. It’s exhausting trying to stay polite when I’m just trying to be clear and efficient. Has toxic communication culture made you overly cautious too? How do you balance clarity with emotional landmines?

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No I just type what I have to say as long as it isn’t hostile I don’t think too deeply about it. I use to do what you were doing when I was younger as I was a people pleaser obsessed with how I was perceived but now I’m not draining my mental resources in that now.

You are only responsible for what you say not how other people recieve it

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15 years ago I was in my 30s and was deputy CMO. My British CMO told me in an annual review I was too direct, like a "school marm" in trying to get people to do their jobs. A man would have gotten praise for being effective. Ever since, I have been very careful about how I write things. It sucks, and it is a time suck, but it is what it is.

Some of it is toxic workplace some of it is race and gender based. I have numerous colleagues who get away with writing the most insane and rude emails constantly. Meanwhile, if I don't add heaps of frilly language someone feels like I had an "attitude" or was being "demanding with them"

I took myself out of the running for a job because they wanted an instant decision, and they told me they were rescinding the offer because my demands were too outrageous

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I was working with Mindtickle. And recently got laidoff from Talent Acquisition team.
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