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No I just type what I have to say as long as it isn’t hostile I don’t think too deeply about it. I use to do what you were doing when I was younger as I was a people pleaser obsessed with how I was perceived but now I’m not draining my mental resources in that now.
You are only responsible for what you say not how other people recieve it
15 years ago I was in my 30s and was deputy CMO. My British CMO told me in an annual review I was too direct, like a "school marm" in trying to get people to do their jobs. A man would have gotten praise for being effective. Ever since, I have been very careful about how I write things. It sucks, and it is a time suck, but it is what it is.
Some of it is toxic workplace some of it is race and gender based. I have numerous colleagues who get away with writing the most insane and rude emails constantly. Meanwhile, if I don't add heaps of frilly language someone feels like I had an "attitude" or was being "demanding with them"
I took myself out of the running for a job because they wanted an instant decision, and they told me they were rescinding the offer because my demands were too outrageous