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Anyone Boston next week?
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Yep, my kids are 19m apart, and I actually told my boss at 7ish weeks both times because I had such morning sickness. Your employer should not care, and if they do, that shows you that they are not worth stressing over. I took 6m of leave each time and was promoted halfway through my second leave, so there are good employers and bosses out there!
It’s just a job. You’re replaceable to them but not to your kids. You can’t get these years back with your family, especially if you’re worried about fertility with your age but you can get experience as an attorney anytime. FWIW being a parent and attorney (once I got my head back about 1 year postpartum) has made me efficient and practical, which my current boss values.
We all feel guilty but people should be happy for you and if you’re in your late 30s or 40s they’ll especially understand.
My kids are a year apart so I literally took two mat leaves in two years. I am also older so that was the plan. Was a surprise to my employer I am sure, but I did my job, prepared and transitioned for my leaves, and all was fine.
FWIW I told them about No 1 at 20 weeks, but told them about No 2 and 13 weeks. Largely for scheduling and planning purposes, but also because I was showing quickly and super nauseous my whole pregnancy.