How open are you in your conversations with your coworkers? Specifically, in sharing details about your personal life? I shared with a colleague that I got engaged, hoping and feeling sure she wouldn't share that with anyone else, and now a handful of people know. I wanted to keep it private for many different reasons, but this person went ahead and ruined that for me. Is this a lesson to be learned? Or do you also feel like you need to have at least one genuine connection at work?

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I mean, did you tell her not to tell?

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“Haven’t told anyone else” =\= “don’t tell anyone else”. I’ve found it wise to be explicit when I share: “I trust your discretion, this is not information I want people to know” is a good starter for sharing sensitive information.

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I try to be friendly and approachable, but I’m careful about how much personal information I share. I’ve learned that even well-meaning colleagues can sometimes let things slip, so I keep most details private unless I’m comfortable with the whole team knowing. That said, I do think it’s important to have at least one genuine connection at work...you just have to be selective and set clear boundaries about what you want kept confidential. This sounds like a tough lesson, though! Hope it hasn't caused you too much trouble.

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Personally I am generally an open book. And what I say about myself to one person I'd say to everyone at the firm. That said, if there's something I don't want known, I don't share it with anyone at work. Not worth the risk of it slipping out.

I also think engagement news is tough because people are usually just genuinely happy for something to celebrate and good news always feels nice to share (even when it isn't your own news). Sorry she took that from you, and hoping it doesn't cause too much trouble.

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I agree. I guess I see that she didn't come from a bad place when she decided to share but it was my happy news to share, not hers. And I didn't want to share it with anyone at work in the first place.

Listen to me carefully. The answer here is do not share anything that could be used against you.

You don’t have real friends at work.

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