I need to hear from other working moms. Please be kind.
I started my new in-house job today. I'm excited but the job requires some travel. I'm finding out there's more trips than they represented to me. I have a 10 month old. The trips are about 2-3 nights away from home. Just today, there's 4 trips coming up. I'm scared that I'm not going to be present for my daughter or that I'll miss something.
Please tell me I'm not a bad mom for taking this job and that it's going to be okay.

You’re not a bad mom lol Why do women do this to themselves? Don’t see men worrying if they’re bad fathers under those circumstances…

You are not a bad mom. A piece of advice from a working mother with grown children. Work as hard as you can now while your children are young. Yes, you might miss some things that will be difficult to miss, but it’s harder on the mom. The babies and toddlers will be ok. They will really need your presence and availability from 4th through high school. Being available to carpool, taking kids to sports, listening in the car to the conversations with friends. These are critically important times. Bring present when they want/need to talk. Get the nanny now and be present later on. Your little ones will still be bonded to you if you need to take trips now. Trust me.

You are not a bad mom. You're doing a great job providing for your family and setting an example for your kids. It's really hard balancing it all. I'm a mom of 2, and while I'm sure I missed some things when they were in the baby phase I can't tell you what - because my memory is so flooded with all the things I *was* there for: bath time, bedtime, weekends, trips, talks on the way to run errands, school drop offs, etc. Unless you are a stay at home parent there is a high likelihood you'll "miss something". And even then, I'm sure SAHM miss things and feel guilt about that. Motherhood guilt seems ever present; I don't have a solution for that- though it does get better with time. Give yourself some grace. You're doing the best you can with the information you have at the time and circumstances available to you. Super disappointing that the travel is more than they represented. Any chance it may change the longer you're in the role? Best of luck to you.

I also am newly in-house and also was not expecting to travel for work. A few months ago, I was asked to travel and stay for 2 days away (which was a whole flight away!). I had a rollercoaster of emotions and anxiety - especially given my first time away from my son (who was 15 months at the time) was for work. You are 1000% valid for feeling all that you are feeling. My husband started taking over bedtime, which was a huge help. That meant my son’s night routine was able to be consistent without me there. I’m still pumping, so that was a logistical challenge, but I called my son to check in while I pumped, which helped. He ended up be totally fine - only really asking about where I was towards the end of day 2. I missed him terribly, but was able to feel better knowing he was in routine and in good hands with my husband. I also got my first full night of sleep in almost 2 years, which was a great silver lining. Being away from your little one requires support at home. These are the times you need your village. FaceTime is a blessing - schedule time to check in and give yourself breaks from work to be a mom. It’s a huge part of your life and that’s okay. If you are really worried, also explore if you could have someone travel with you and your kiddo for the first trip. I’ve had colleagues that asked their partners to take pto to take their kid along on a work trip for their comfort. The kid + partner explored the city during the day and they were all able to connect as a family at night. You are a great mom and your kid is incredibly lucky to have you as their mom! Sending you all the support and good vibes ❤️

Your daughter won’t even remember anything right now until she’s 3 or 4 at the earliest. Missing things is more something you’re sad about, not her. But also, you won’t miss anything. You’d be gone at most 30 days per year. That’s really nothing compared to how many days you’ll be home.

if you want, hire a babysitter to travel with you so you can bring child with you, or bring the entire fam on X% of trips

You’re not bad mom but I also had trouble being away when kids were little so if I were you I’d find ways to cut the travel because the guilt doesn’t go away even if others were traveling or others comfort you. I just think it’s a very personal feeling and choice.

You’re not a bad mom. Just prioritize spending time with your kiddo when you’re off work. It’s an unfortunate reality, but all working parents “miss things” when their kids are little. Your daughter won’t remember you being gone at that age and you’re doing what you need to do to support her. There’s no shame in existing in the system we have to exist in. You’re doing your best and that is enough.