New attorney moms: does prestige really matter at this point? I feel a bit jealous when I see my former classmates do some pretty amazing things and really soar with their careers. It motivates me to do more, do better. But at the same time, I also don't want to be doing more than is expected as a new mom. I don't believe my firm is prestigious at all but I can't help but wonder if I should be aiming higher?

Your career may span several decades. Children are young for a comparatively short time. Personally, I am just fine treading water for awhile and pouring most of myself into my family.

Do what's best for you. Rest is noise ♥️

I know it’s cliche but comparison really is the thief of joy. If what you’re doing is working for you and your family, that’s exactly where you need to be. There will always be people who appear further along or more successful.

My philosophy these days is get as much money you can for the least amount of work necessary.

Also the Harvard University employee union motto is “you can’t eat prestige.” That’s helped me more than once. :)

I’m in-house and we have a women’s employee resource group that often puts on “executive chats” with women at high leadership levels. Almost all of them talk about a slowdown while their kids were little. I like to remind myself that at 35, there is still SO much more career to be had after my littles are a little bigger. Right now I’m focused on doing good work, having the pay and benefits my family needs, and being home and present outside the 9-5.

Prestige isn’t worth anything if you have to trade in everything that matters to you to achieve it. And it’s so externally focused.

I’d be much more focused on fulfillment: what would YOU do if you knew you couldn’t fail and drive towards that. It may be now or when your kids get older. I wouldn’t assume it requires you to step back because you have little kids. It’s possible you lean in and your partner steps back. It depends on timing. It depends on what you want/need. Take any external views and set them aside.

I have always needed a lot of work/intellectual stimulation AND the ability to prioritize my kids. I moderated what I was signing onto at work but I didn’t “step back”. That was right for me, and you may need something different, but be bold so you start and end with YOU, not other’s viewpoints (whether about prestige or parenting). I trust you to make the right choices.

I really and truly think the rewards follow. Prestige focuses on other’s perception when YOURS is the only one that matters.

This path will challenge you. It is not easy but, damn, babe, it’s so worth it. I can’t express how freakin proud and fearless you will be when you run at being / getting YOU. And your kids will watch you inhabit yourself, pursue your potential while loving and caring for them, and they will do the same.

Hugs to you!

I'm still debating whether prestige matters and my kids are elementary age. And I say that not to discourage you, but to alleviate the pressure you're putting on yourself at this time. Having a baby is a big transition, and you don't have to make big career decisions right now. There's plenty of time to "aim higher" later on.

Our careers are long. Sometimes it will matter and sometimes it won’t. I don’t think there’s a definitive answer that you will find to be true at all times

Not a new mom as a mom of a 19,12,10 and 8 year old. But at this point, at 42, I don't care about prestige, I care about having as much time with my family as possible. We don't need much for our monthly bills so at this point I'm just driving myself crazy by working long hours to accomplish great things for other companies