There’s this friend I made in our industry when I moved to a new city last year. At this time, I was at my heaviest. My doctor instructed me to lose weight and I began taking the steps to do so. Since telling my friend about this, I’ve noticed her making comments implying that I’m no longer being “fun.” She actually laughed when I told her I had began a diet program. I’ve lost about 20 lbs since then. I’ve distanced myself from the friend, somewhat.

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Yes, it’s sad it have friendships sour like this, but it’s the right move. She sounds like she’s battling some insecurities of her own and somehow feels threatened by your recent journey. Also, good for you! You should feel proud of yourself and you deserve friendships that champion your hard work and the self-love you’re showing yourself. Your friends should want only the best for you, end of story.

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Thanks. It took a lot of discipline to make healthier choices.

A friend should not be making you feel bad about making positive healthy changes to your life. Sounds like she has some deep rooted issues she needs to deal with, especially reading the purposeful bad advice bit. That’s an opp not a friend.

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Wondering if this was the right move. I don’t want to alienate her with confrontation as we know a lot of the same people.

Cut her off

What do you think is the issue? She’s thinner and wants you to be the “fat friend”? Similar size and she feels bad/lazy/whatever seeing you try to change? Was your friendship based on shared activities you’re doing less now? Is she uncomfortable with diet / exercise talk in general and you’re talking about it too much?

We’ve done other things like gone to movies, dinner.

You’ve likely triggered something in them - at no fault of your own. But, it sounds like you’re serious about making healthy choices (that’s great!) and a friend would be fully supportive. It’s a bummer - I am sorry!

Sounds like you guys might have had less in common than you thought, and it’s fine to let a friendship fizzle out without a big confrontation.

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