~6 months in at my new job as a new AD and my GAD ...

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A lot of people get promoted regardless if they’re skilled or capable as a people manager.

It sounds like they’re still operating in individual contributor mode. Down in the weeds with you in your work.

These people get noticed because they’re good at the job and they put the time in and after so many years they’re probably wanting the raise and the bigger title because that is the expectation with no thought to the added people managing component as a lead.

But the reality is a lot of people who get promoted to a leadership role have no business being in that role. People typically need training and a different way of thinking about their place in the work geared to supporting their direct reports or people on the team they lead.

Their key job as leader is now to bring out the best in you. You were hired to do the work and they need to figure out ways to challenge you, motivate you, give you opportunity and support you when you need help.

The job is not to tell you what to do, you’re supposed to figure that out on your own.

If they have been in this role for a while, there’s a good chance they’ve been doing this the wrong way for a really long time because they have friends higher up. You could complain about them, and you have every right to, but it’s not gonna get you anywhere and will hurt your chance of improving this relationship.

I would suggest having an honest conversation with them. Start with your respect for their position and their role in the work. Some genuine compliments about their expertise go a long way to creating some goodwill before explaining your concerns.

Make sure you use “l” statements, not complaining about them, but explaining YOUR needs to do your best work.

Something like:
“I’m realizing I need XYZ to feel I have the support, the space, and the trust to do my best work. I can see your passion in the work we do, and your perspective is valuable to my work.

If my work isn’t quite where it needs to be. I don’t expect you to solve everything for me. I need the challenge to learn by doing, and this is where I need your support. I need your help in pointing out the strengths and areas of improvement so I can become stronger in my role.”

This may get them out of that ingrained impulse of doing the work/making the exact decisions for you rather than pointing out the areas where your work is strong vs where it needs further refinement.

If this does not produce any changes in their approach, you can repeat word for word your very appropriate and professional way of trying to address this on your own to no avail in a skip meeting to their manager. They’ll respect your tactful and sensible approach and taking this on yourself before asking for help. The fact you have been there for six months you’ve given it plenty of time to assess how things are going, you’re not being knee-jerk reactive. Be complimentary of your GAD and their particular strengths and simply ask for advice, (not a complaint) on how to move forward.

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