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I’m in survival mode. 4 years until retirement
Education has changed so much. I’ve been doing this since I was 21 and I’m 55 now. The vocation has changed dramatically. Many administrators have not taught post-Covid; it is not the same job description. This is just the beginning of the next era…scary. I don’t want my young doctor to have to Google “How to perform brain surgery” since he cheated through that class.
I totally understand. I've been teaching for 15 years and this year has been by far, the most difficult for me. I struggle with motivation and feel like I have lost my drive. I always said when I started feeling this way, I would consider retiring but I still have at least 5 years to go.
I think of my retirement every single day. I really really love the kids at this school, but there’s one teacher who is nearly impossible to work with. Her moods are erratic and she’s passive/aggressive, ‘she doesn’t play well in the sandbox’ is what other teachers will say and the kicker is everybody in the school knows it. I can no longer allow her to bring me down. I’d never want my kids in her classroom, and for most teachers I would.
Do not feel guilty your human, and your feelings are valid. I feel the same this year. I love my students, I love teaching but this year I am drained. That I look at the calendar more just to see what’s the next time off.
Don’t feel guilty. You’re doing your best with all the demands districts have placed on teachers. I had almost three decades in before I retired several years ago. My last year of teaching felt like my first…I was stretched to the limit. Public education is no longer public education. Every child has their own “ILP” and we are expected to document/record every aspect of a student’s day so that the parents can analyze what the teacher is doing incorrectly. Teaching is no longer about teaching skills, but teaching student’s who they are and to feel good about themselves. Ridiculous social agendas that teachers are not qualified to teach or counsel about have become the rule of the classroom.
As I said, I retired two years ago. My retiring had nothing to do with my students. They were always the best part of my job.
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I think this is normal. We go through teaching phases and sometimes it is purely survival mode and if you didn't feel this way sometimes I would be worried. The best teachers can and do deserve a break.
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Don't feel guilty. Every single teacher has those moments.