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looking for referrals at RBC BMO
Anyone got recruited for Pune location recently? My interview process has been completed and asked for documents on 23rd Dec, but till now I haven’t got any update after that. Today i called HR and they said manager has not provided any update on my application. Should i wait for the offer letter or look opportunity in another organisation? Deloitte Deloitte India
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Many things could be challenging the low libido partner, so it’s hard to assume what the right approach is.
Either way, starting with step 1 is to declare your issue directly without judgement or defensiveness,
“Can we talk about our lack of physical intimacy in our relationship? Sex is important to me and it is not happening at the frequency I need to feel wanted and connected in this marriage. What is challenging you in our physical connection?” > listen and respond with no excuses or bargaining and disengage from the conversation when it begins to feel cyclical.
Recommend couples counseling and schedule a date, talk to a professional together.
If in 3-6 months change isn’t occurring, you’re entering a phase where resentment may begin to build. Resentment leads to a worsening relationship. Any manner of things can cause the low libido partner to disengage, but without their own personal self awareness (such as: you gained weight and I don’t want to touch you) you will need professional help.
In the end, life is short - my advice is that you can’t regulate for a partner who isn’t showing up. Someone out there may be more suitable for you as we go through life’s phases, but a professional is the best effort to know you tried your best.
I agree with you, my challenge is that my spouse thinks of everything under the sun and gets affected by it. Then she uses the cover of being affected to say that she doesnt want to do it. I have suggested counseling but have been turned down all the time. Every time the talk comes up, she gets all defensive and will point to the one time that she did it. These conversations get so difficult that I am afraid to even bring it up.
I have tried all sorts of approach to keep my wife happy but I assume there is some internal resentment that acts as a blocker. Have sacrificed my peace , logic , money and happiness just to keep this woman happy but to no avail. Maybe its a situation where I put my foot down for counseling and close this topic for once and all. As you mentioned, life is too short to be constantly keep thinking about this.
Your goal is sex, her goal is romance , respect , fun in relationship, making her favourite dishes , buying her favourite items , taking her to surprise date , that physical touch , body massage , foreplay .. these are all important to her bro.. just try it
I understand your situation bro, just take her to good cozy quite place , and ask her what are her wishes ? What made her change ? What is she expect from you? See , there should be some reason she changed herself right ? I understand your situation also that being in IT with such hectic schedule, kid and household chores , hardly anyone gets time for rest of the things !! And we are given such a work pressure that we are not even in that mood .. but I think , not all the time but at least something should be sorted out , right ? So just give it a try what o mentioned above , take her to nice place and make the environment romantic , try to ask her , what she wishes and clearly list out all the points and put it on table . Have in detail discussion.. this will surely bring out everything she carries in her heart.
My two cents:
A “talk” around this makes some people close down even more. They probably hear “you’re not giving enough of yourself to me”.
I would try to create moments where intimacy can happen. Seems you two are distant right now, so start with small steps. A date night followed by some kissing. A glass of wine before bed while cuddling. These will ease her into it without feeling like being on the spot to perform. Hopefully you’ll get closer and closer as the weeks pass and you continue to have these small moments to yourself.
Good luck
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Go to therapy, it sounds like you need a moderator for this conversation if you have already tried and it isn’t working.
The more you push it the more it will become an issue and any attempt for intimacy will be a reminder of fraught confrontation.
I sleep upstairs, she sleeps downstairs.