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Girl, I’ve been there, and it sucks. But trust me, life gets so much better without that kind of negativity weighing you down. Focus on you. You should be reconnecting with friends, picking up hobbies, or just treating yourself. You deserve real love, not lies. It’s hard now, but one day, you’ll feel so free. ❤️
I'm sorry you have to go through this but please belive me when I say time will and can heal everything. Will your wound be gone forever.. no. Maybe. But it will definitely hurt less even in just a month from now. Stay strong. Try and see it as dodging a bullet because some people only get to find out after they've married the person.. and that's a whole stickier a situation.
Feelings are not facts. It’s okay to miss him, but miss him from afar. Block him on everything and move on. Being single is better than being mistreated & disrespected every day of the week.
Pro
Go to therapy, learn your relationship patterns, and learn how to love yourself enough to know and feel that you truly deserve love.