I cried at work today. I was so frustrated. While my boss was empathetic, I was also told I need to take the emotion out of it and put my big girl pants on. I’m so embarrassed. I just want to crawl under a rock. I don’t know how to have thick skin. I don’t know how to be a robot. I don’t know how to lead people without caring about them. This is the first time this has ever happened. I just want to disappear.

You're human, these things happen. People deal with things in different ways. So you had a few tears, so what? Some people shout, swear or sulk when things get tough, your release valve was a few tears. You will get better at managing your emotions, step out and have a few minutes to compose yourself and if there are tears coming, my advice is to try and shed them behind the bathroom door in private, or with a friend over a glass of wine.

Your boss sounds like an a******.
You’re human. Humans cry sometimes. Your boss needs to learn this, not you.

I've been there. Frustrated to the point of breaking and I finally just.. Broke. I was embarrassed, and then I was mad at what got me to that point, but ultimately I realized that I like that quality of myself that cares. I don't want that to go away. I want the frustrations to go away but I had to come to terms with the fact that this is who I am and while I will always do my best, it has to be OK to show vulnerability sometimes.

I hope you come to a similar place. It's really pretty freeing.

Good to know I wasn’t the only one who cried at work in front of their boss this week! We’ll get through to the other side. Stay true to who you are. ❤️

Your boss is not human

I would also say whoever told you to put your big girl pants on if they were a male that’s a big no no. If that’s a female, that’s definitely an unprofessional way to say buck up buttercup.
If this is your first leadership job, don’t even worry about it if it’s not, look at where we are in the world today. There’s a lot what I’m going to challenge you with is number one. Remember, you cannot have a bad day at work as a leader you can’t. Number two you are human but no matter what brought you to that place today whether it was frustration or something happened whatever, find a way to Help yourself to be in the moment, but not in the emotions not while you’re in the building. We may be able to help a little bit more if we know what happened to bring you to that point and you don’t have to be specific.
When I have really bad days at work and there have been a few where I have left work Once I got out of the building and off the grounds, I cried the whole way home. Those days what I do is get a glass of wine get some ice cream and watch Big Bang theory all night till I go to bed because laughter makes a huge difference in relaxing your Mind and taking the emotions back out of the scenario.

Hey!
These things happen! I dont know about you but I would never want to become an emotionless robot :)
You cried at work, ok. So what? You had your moment and can move on now. How can you be kind with yourself about it? How can you even possibly find it to be a little bit funny (not from a mean point of view but a loving one)?

What would you say to your best friend if they were in that situation?

Also, what if you can lead people AND care about them? What if you can have thick skin AND experience your emotions?... it´s not this OR that. But rather, this AND that.

Have you considered further looking into what skills you need to improve/develop? What support you may need?

I have definitely been there. I would say try to work on some boundaries and compartmentalize some. Find lateral peers that you can trust, and also get a therapist. Even if it’s once a month. My therapist changed the game with helping me develop work boundaries so I don’t burnout emotionally.

Being a people leader is hard. There is a thin line of caring for employees and bearing their weight. Learning to keep the difference forefront is key to YOU staying healthy and that has to be priority for you.

Put your big girl pants on is a terrible thing to tell tell someone. Perhaps your boss needs to improve the environment. You are a human and she needs better people skills.

You’ve got your big girl pants on when you can be your authentic self at work. Be true to yourself and others. Crying is a human emotion.