I made all of my lateral moves due to my husband’s WLB concerns. I’ve been at three biglaw firms and have been in-house for almost two years. Our daughters are school aged now and I want to return to biglaw. Will firms accept family obligations as a legitimate reason for all of my moves or will I be shut out?

I disagree on the recruiter front, for two separate but important reasons. First, from what I have been told by a friend who is a recruiter, that as a more senior associate, it will be a significantly higher fee for you that the firm will have to pay. Which means that hiring you doesn’t just cost your annual salary, but you cost your annual salary plus the large fee, which might make you a little bit less of an ideal candidate than someone who doesn’t have the recruiter fee tied to their resume.

Second, please keep in mind that if a recruiter submits you, you cannot submit yourself for six months, generally, or 12 months (at some firms). So I get the sense from my experience that recruiters are telling you that they can submit you because they want the potential business, but they’re not thinking or expressing the actual potentiality/reality of you being hired back into biglaw via the recruiter and their significant fee.

Note: I am saying this is someone who used a recruiter to get into two biglaw firms then had to take about two years away from practice after an out-of-nowhere medical issue (an illness for which there is no current cure but that doesn’t at all impact my lawyering abilities - just makes me walk slower) and has struggled to get back into biglaw ever since (though I have some prospects!), largely because I was working with a recruiter. Based on what my recruiter friend (not the recruiter with whom I was working) told me, that is largely the case. It’s kind of crappy but it is what it is.

Does my argument make sense to you? If not, feel free to message me via this app and I can shoot you a,hopefully, a clearer explanation. 🙂

Best of luck to you! Would love to keep in touch with you about this, since we are in similar-ish boats.

A3 - I took the use of “permit” to be a snarky reference to the fact that it was OP’s husband who initially asked (demanded?) that she leave big law. At least that’s how I would’ve used it.

I strongly agree with A2’s comment about getting a postnup. OP, if you go back to big law and your husband decides he isn’t happy with that or as a SAHD, you need to have protected yourself financially.

My husband is planning on becoming a stay at home dad. Why biglaw? Because I love it and I have found firms to be flexible enough. I always assumed midlaw would involve less sophisticated matter, fewer resources, the same billable requirements as biglaw with lower pay.

Its up to you. I've only been a lawyer in AM100 , but I found it better than working in nursing management, my previous career, where I worked a full office day (getting there early enough to see the nught shift), and would still have to come in and work a night shift, holidays and weekends when its short. I was a single mom too so on occasion I even had to bring a toddler to the hospital for the secretary to watch until a friend or my ex would wake up and get her.

With all that struggle I never mention I went to law for WLF balance in interviews.

So, what has worked for me is some combination of the following-

I’m diligent and willing to work hard. I’ll get up really early or stay up late. I do not miss deadlines. I try to pinpoint the moments when I need to really, really deliver, and make sure that happens. I also try to be really pleasant and easy to deal with, which I do think makes a difference in law firms where there are lots of personalities to navigate. I try to be the “easy” button for clients and colleagues.

I also live my life on my terms. When my kids get home from school, at least 2-3 days a week I’m with them getting snack and chatting, with my phone and computer in a different room. If someone calls me then, I don’t answer. I just call them back later. I go on field trips, volunteer in the classroom, and never miss a school event. I just tell people I’m “out of pocket,” if I address it at all. I don’t offer explanations when I’m unavailable, and no one ever asks.