I’m about 4 months pregnant and thinking ahead to my maternity leave which will only be fmla (12 weeks unpaid) and no additional benefits per company policy. No state std either. Anyone else who has been in this situation have any tips to making the most of these 12 weeks and also being ready to return to work? Obviously we need to have childcare set up. I’m thinking more about being ready physically to be back in office etc. Our office policy is also in office 5 days a week no exceptions.(cont)

I think it’s still worth for asking for flexibility coming back to the office, maybe 3 days a week for the first month or two back.

Second, if you don’t love a nanny or other childcare arrangement don’t be afraid to fire them. You’ll feel more backed into a corner once you start work.

Third, you need to sleep train! 12 by 12 is a great book, so if your baby is sleeping through then night going back to work should be a lot easier if you’re getting a good night sleep.

Lastly, contemplate how important breast feeding is to you. Since you’ll be back in the office, you’ll need to either do formula or pump. Formula would make your life much easier, but if that’s not for you, there are ways to get your supply up so you can over pump, freeze some and this way take some stress off.

12 weeks isn’t enough to comfortably return to work in-office, 5 days a week. It’s just not. It will be tough on you and your infant. I encourage you to push for more unpaid time or a few months of FT telework before coming back into the office.

Give yourself grace making the transition back. If possible, try to have childcare start the week or two before you go back to work to give yourself and your baby time to adjust. We sent my son part time every other day the week before which made my first day back in the office easier (I was a complete wreck after that first drop off).

Also I don’t get the hate for Emily Oster—I found her books and articles to be extremely helpful to suss out which claims are actually supported by good data versus anecdotal (including claims about sleep training and breastfeeding). And I spend more than two hours a day with my kiddo.

And as far as the comments about how you feed your baby go, breastfeeding is great if it works for you, but so is formula feeding or combo feeding! I had an extremely difficult time breastfeeding which played a significant role in my PPD/PPA and switching to formula made me a better mom because I was in a better headspace as a result. You will find what works best for you physically and emotionally.

Check out the law called the PWFA.

This is our first kid, and i’m wishing the maternity leave was longer… we’re in a fine situation financially that being unpaid throughout the leave is fine (but still unfortunate).

You dont know what will happen with birth. Or with you. What if there are complications or you have preclampsia or an issue? Not to scare you but anything is possible with pregnancy and even the baby.. Id focus on you, giving birth and what comes after you deal with. You will have lochia and be in a diaper and pads after birth if giving birth vaginally (if c section there may be more recovery time). Also you'll have to take baby to pediatrician appts so there will definitely be days where you simply may not be able to be in the office. The nighttime feedings if you are breastfeeding are also no joke (every 2 to 3 hours) and pumping or giving formula. Is this a small firm? Medium size? Do they have a pumping room? How far is office from your home?

F

If baby hasn't taken a bottle yet give yourself a three to four week margin to figure out what type of bottle he/she prefers. Have your co-parent offer the bottle first without you in the room. Sometimes baby will reject a bottle just because they can see/smell you.