I’m having such a rough time dating (mainly online dating) and haven’t been in a relationship since law school. I’m a fourth year and I’m starting to feel really hopeless. How did you meet your partners and what can I do to put myself out there more?

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I met my wife on Hinge at 39. Lots of bad dates before that. Just had our honeymoon in Tahiti!

likeuplifting

I met my husband on Bumble. It’s possible. Don’t give up!!!

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Same here. Met him at 35, married at 37. Stay positive. It will happen when the time is right.

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I met my husband on the r/okcupid subreddit while I was in law school. Dating can be tough but you can’t meet someone if you don’t put yourself out there. Do you have any hobbies? Depending on your city, meetups may also yield good results. A guy I played pick up soccer with met his wife that way.

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I met my husband through friends in my late 20s - first at a group movie/drinks outing and then we hung out and got to know each other via a number of other get togethers (largely trivia nights and indoor rock climbing) with the same mutual friends. I'm a big believer in meeting people in person and getting off the apps. My husband is 100% someone I would never have swiped on in an app setting, but is a great and supportive spouse and dad and the more I got to know him, the more I liked him/was attracted to him. I've seen a lot of couples form up from our local adult rec sports legs or group workout classes/running groups on the same logic - doing something you enjoy anyway and getting to know people in the process.

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Did you guys date immediately or start as friends first?

Met my husband on Bumble at age 29. Honestly it’s probably better to be single in law school unless you have a really awesome supportive partner. I was in a toxic relationship all through my 20’s and would have had a way better law school experience if I had not been in it.

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Met my husband on Tinder when I was 32. “Online” dating is such a slog, but you can never rule it out!

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Agree! Met my husband on Bumble 10 years ago and before the date I told myself it would be my last app/online date because it truly does suck!

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Met my partner on Hinge at age 36, the apps aren’t hopeless as discouraging as they can feel at times

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I made a commitment to try the apps for 6 months and have at least one first date a week for that period, met him 20 first dates in—I’m so glad I powered through. I think the key for me is making the dating part (bc that tends to be the time suck) as minimally invasive as possible to your normal routine. I always did drinks only after work on my way home so I didn’t get especially dressed up for it, always had “I have to get home to my dog,” as an excuse, and wasn’t on the hook to stay for a whole meal when you can typically tell if it’s a hard no pretty quickly. Good luck!!

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I’m sorry. You’re definitely not alone and there are good ones out there. Don’t settle and remember this is a numbers game.

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I was 36 when I met my partner on Bumble last year. We both had only been on it for a few weeks when we matched. There’s definitely been a shift away from dating apps over the last year, so don’t feel too bad if you don’t like using them. Here’s my advice: write a list of everything you want in a relationship and then pick the top five dealbreakers/non-negotiables from that list. Look up “frozen five” and you can pick from there. Once you have a clear idea of what you want and need in a relationship, dating gets easier. No one will be perfect but you’ll find your frozen five person.

Also, I see the advice about dating being a numbers game. I think that works better for more extroverted people than introverts. I’m a social introvert but the idea of dating for quantity always exhausted me. Go for quality and connection.

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As an introvert, I made a kind of a rule that worked really well for me. If somebody was just asking to casually hang out they usually weren't worth my time and I said no. If somebody asked me out for a date I said yes unless I had a specific reason not to (for example if I didn't feel safe). If I had a good time on the first date, then I'd always say yes to the second or suggest it myself. After that, it was an automatic no to a third date unless I really wanted to see more of that person.

I'm not saying you should necessarily adopt these specific rules. But just knowing that I had a framework set up helped me a whole lot to not get burned out socially. For introverts, I recommend you come up with some kind of a framework that will work for you and your goals.

Coffee Meets Bagel. Try it if you haven’t!

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I met my husband on Bumble, but swiped right on him when I wasn’t supposed to 🤣 He’s also an attorney, and for me, attorneys were dealbreakers (never met an attorney that I liked 🤷‍♀️). Definitely keep trying, but I’d recommend also keeping an open mind. It’s hard to stay optimistic.. but it only takes one good guy 😉

likefunny

Met my husband on Hinge at 31 and we just had our honeymoon (33 now). I had so, so, so many toxic matches/dates/relationships before this. Don’t give up!!

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I met my husband on Tinder after going on something like 100 first dates. It was well worth it.

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Idk where you live, but let me help

I met my husband on internations.org.

It’s a numbers game. You just have to go on a bunch of first dates because you can’t really tell what somebody is like online. Eventually you’ll land on a good one.

Ladies who met their husbands ion the apps-was this in NYC?

I was part of the NYC chapter of internations.org. They had tons of events too.

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