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Please like my post for DM's
Anyone down to play tennis in Frisco/Plano?
Rising Star
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Let the numbers say it. It’s been 6mo, that’s a great “hey let’s check in” timeframe from a financial perspective. Export your spending across cards and tally up what’s on groceries vs dining out (plus all the other categories) and collaboratively find a solution (“hey, we are spending $Xxx/mo at (smoothie place), what if we made it at home instead?”) You’ll probably walk out of the convo with more solutions to help stretch your dollars and be on the same team about it. Or, if he gets defensive about it, maybe you’ll learn that that’s really important to him and he’d rather be frugal elsewhere, which you can talk about. I wouldn’t make it about his job, that gets dicey (speaking from experience). It’s about managing family finances smartly. DM if you want more tips from my convo - we had a big gap, figured out how big, found a solution and got ahead of our spending. Good luck with the convo and job search!
Coach
I wouldn’t say selfish— you’re being cautious, you’re being practical and you have financial awareness in a season of life when it’s critical.
You don’t have to call him out for the smoothie instead I would tell him since you’re both observing how difficult of a job market it is that you should build a budget to get you through until he gets a job again. Both of you can make lifestyle / luxury cuts…and yes buying a smoothie is a luxury, not a need. Scale back on spending but definitely leave room for a weekly treat like the smoothie after a productive effort of applying for jobs, etc. and make sure you get something too!
This job market is brutal, good luck to you both. You’re doing a good job looking out for the family.
Sorry back up how do you spend $20 on a smoothie
Coach
$14-$16 smoothie + tip probably. Easily adds up if you add a protein, sub for almond milk, etc etc. these days a “little treat” trip adds up closer to $20 with a tip. 🫠
Uh, he is unemployed. For the last 6 months. You absolutely need to have a budget conversation with him and get him on your level with spending. Because he is unemployed it is not unreasonable to have to pull back spending on luxury items (like $20 smoothies), because he’s not contributing to the household wealth. You are not being selfish!! You are being smart with your household budget. What if you got laid off?!?!
I’m your husband in this situation.
For me it’s not $20 smoothies, but I do still go out to lunch/dinner with my friends.
Yes, you need to stay within a budget, however, you need to think of your money as “our money”. There may be another time when you are the one out of work.
It absolutely sucks to not have an income and to have to rely on other people. Sometimes you just need the smoothie or lunch to help you feel better.