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Does this just sound wrong to anyone else?
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🙋🏻♀️ I join the Asian group and the black/hispanic group (joint at my company) and the women’s group at my firm.
- the Asian group provides support and resources for me. I don’t have a house in the hamptons or an aunt who lives there. I didn’t play la crosse, etc... the folks in this group have a higher chance of having a similar background - first generation immigrant or second generation learning the white collar professional norms. This group has in my career, provided mentors that became my advocates or told me good background info about how management works or what factors to evaluate when I make political decisions. There is a sense of the older/senior folks wanting to help the junior folks navigate and provide tools/support. This is support I can lean on or reach out to if there is an issue w my own team wo having to worry about inner team politics.
- the Black/Hispanic group- I joined as an ally. I was told they welcome everyone and one of the leaders told me they want more people to join. So, I joined to stay aware of what are the issues affecting those colleagues each month. If they are doing a campaign or a panel, I go to show support and get educated. Knowing how they feel, I can better support them.
Chief
This is how I have always viewed the affinity groups as well. I have joined the women’s groups wherever I work and the mentorship has been invaluable. It’s also been a great place to make friends, especially in a more male-dominated industry or company. There are oftentimes where I have been the only woman on a team, so it’s nice to have a way to meet other women at work. (Guys are fine as work colleagues but I want to have women friends outside of work, etc.)
Also a minority and can see where you’re coming from. But it makes me wonder if there’s a hint of internalized racism. Is there a reason you don’t want to differentiate yourself from “them” and have a problem identifying with your race/minority? It feels idealistic to say that there should be no need to form these groups specifically for certain minorities but that feels like it would be in the same vein as “I don’t see color”
I’m 100% proud of who I am and where my family comes from. I see myself as American - which I define as having any cultural or ethnic background while being able to coexist with different backgrounds and appreciate each other. I guess it’s a very optimistic definition and I do understand that not everywhere in the US is great about it. I have personally experienced racism but shrugged it off and left because it’s a waste of effort to try making these people change their views. I do my best to make decisions that surround myself with people who respect each other for who they are. I feel like I’m about to get crucified for saying this stuff so let me disclose that I vote Democrat. Been spending too much time on Twitter lol, but glad that we can disagree here and be civil about it
I'm not in any but I usually see them as support group or to easily find friends to share common interest. In HS you could find one for every culture.
I don’t disagree with your view. However, the goal of having these affinity groups wasn’t to separate, instead is to provide supports and a sense of belonging in case you need them (hence you are not forced to join). In the ideal world, skin color or culture differences wouldn’t separate us, but the reality is they do. Having affinity groups doesn’t separate us as we are already separated. We don’t need a white male history month, because every month is white male history month. We don’t need a white boy club, because every office is a white boy club. It’s much easier for a young white male to have a mentor, a sponsor, someone take them under their wings. It’s much easier for a young white male to feel empowered because they look like the people in the leadership position (you rarely hear from a white male that he doesn’t think he is ready for a promotion.) People are judging you based on the color of your skin, having affinity groups provide you with a place where you can potentially find supports and guidance on how to navigate these conscious or unconscious biases. These groups are only as good as the people who join and participate in them. They are not perfect, but they serve a purpose.
I was in one, I support them, and I support your stance. I view it as a way to add to the diversity and inclusion of the agency as a whole, not a way to separate from the rest of the company
Thanks for the responses so far. I think my thoughts are mostly from seeing these things as what HR departments are pushing so it seems kind of superficial to me as well
Pro
Live and let live. Life is short. Do you. Who cares?
I agree with D1 here, but in the interest of further discussion...
I'm East Asian, have a lot of diversity among my friends, including fellow East Asians. I don't find a need to join these groups, because when I have, I never had much in common with the folks there other than our background. I honestly feel uncomfortable whenever I do go to meetings/hangouts and such. My current friendships are formed from shared interests, values, and personal experiences over many years together. And in terms of support/resources, I am privileged that I've never needed anything so large my family or friends couldn't provide.
But, the existence of these groups isn't some negative thing in the general sense. They can be a source of community that might be otherwise hard to find for some. If people find benefit in them, awesome! I'm not going to try to refute or negate that. Same way I might honestly view church, service organizations - let people join whatever group makes them happy, and nobody should find issues with that.
I recommend "why do all the black kids sit together in the cafeteria?" It does a really good job of outlining why celebrating differences is important and why people with similar experiences often flock together. It also helped me as a white person because it reminded me that I never learned the history of minorities / their contributions to society outside of the white-washed education system. I've really appreciate learning from our ERGs and dismantle some of my unconscious bias that white people are smarter/more accomplished/etc.
My view is the affinity group provides support for minorities, support we wouldn’t get otherwise. I am African and sometimes my personal experience just doesn’t translate to a white male who grew up New Hampshire. That being said that white male does not need an affinity group because our world is surrounded by people who understand his experience and minorities even learn to relate even if that’s not their experience. On the other hand we have to make a concerted effort to find that same connection which affects our opportunities in so many different ways. I think affinity groups exist not to make us segregate ourselves but to give us some support because we have been marginalized.
Enthusiast
I consider that admirable and that you are wise beyond your years. Highly intelligent people stop and think beyond the status quo.
Now post this in the consulting bowl and prepare your defense!
Rising Star
Honestly, I like the groups because I feel like it’s okay to be me and everyone in the group understands. I enjoy knowing I’m not alone.
Sometimes people like having time with other people who look like them. If I am the only or one of few (insert minority group) on my team it’s nice to have a place to go to commune and connect with those who look / act like me. Seeking out likeness doesn’t mean separation. Minorities are forced to integrate everyday. It’s not about us vs them for the minority group. It’s about support. It’s us vs them for those who don’t understand why that support is needed in an integrated world.
I agree with you completely. As another example, women constantly want equality to men in various ways. So why is there women’s history month - that just highlights the differences? Same goes for Black history month - instead of integrating ethnicities this only serves to highlight the differences and create separation. (I’m a woman and an ethnic minority)