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People buy and sell houses all the time. Either your income to debt ratio is sufficient, or your mortgage will be written with a contingency clause on the sale of your house. Treat her like a toddler. Either she's being passive-aggressive, or she really doesn't know. Some people's worlds are small. Don't pick up stuff that doesn't belong to you.
My only issue is my MIL saying things like - don't worry, don't worry, I can help with [insert house expense]...
I wasn't worried.... you shouldn't either... I can't seem to convince her we are good. She wants to gift us financially, which is fine, but I don't want her to do it because she thinks we're broke.
Good problem to have! But also remember you should be shopping rates with a minimum of 3 lenders (doesn’t matter how many pulls of credit occur within the 60 day period). If your husband is wondering then the fact that three different lenders are pre approving you should settle the question.
I would tell her thank you and that you appreciate her support but that this is something you planned for so you are all set financially to enjoy the luxury of closing on your second house before you sell your first house.
Her concern is normal. Forvis’ suggestion of getting multiple quotes is also a good one. You’re fortunate that you’re able to afford to do this but you don’t have to disclose any of the details to your family if you don’t want to. Just be polite, but firm and treat their comments and questions as coming from a place of love so that there aren’t any hurt feelings.