Advice for best success in a mostly male group setting at happy hours/celebration drinks etc?
I am newly married, and care about my job and doing well & having a strong connection with my team. The majority of the people on my team (in Chicago) are men, all ages, some married some single. Every event it seems all they want to do is drink a ton, stay out late, go to the casino, have a crazy night. I want to participate with them, but I also want to go home to my husband and don’t drink tons.

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Mocktails sip slow and go home whenever you feel you should

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You can not drink or limit to one drink. If you want to go to the event, just go early before things get wild and leave when people seem too drunk to even know who's around.

It's not necessary to join the boys' club. I don't participate in wild happy hours or bar hopping. If my team ever implied that I have to do those things to be valued, I'd dust off my resume.

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Yes exactly, this vibe doesn’t exist in my group, and I wouldn’t even bother trying if I saw that it did. Time to go elsewhere with a better environment

I mean I wouldn’t even try to be a part of the boys club, and it’s really not necessary. Just be great during work hours and they’ll appreciate you.

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Boys club is real but not worth trying to “game”. Realistically, what would you like the outcome to be once you’re in the boys club?

I'm on a wellness journey so I'm trying not to drink as much. I've been doing a lot of soda water and lime. Nobody asks if you don't make a big deal out of it. People just see a cup

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How do I participate in these events and build social capital with my team while maintaining my values and not staying out crazy late/drinking tons while not being seen as the lame female member of the team?

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