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Hi folks,What is the wfh situation in fidelity?
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IMO, if it’s strictly just a clash of personalities, I would use it to set an example on boundaries and how to “get along” with others. 3yo is still young, but kids are sponges, be a good example.
If your mom is undermining your parenting, then that’s completely different…
I'm currently going through something very similar.
As I've gotten older, I've realized just how important protecting my peace is—not only for myself, but for my children and my overall health. My mother can be extremely toxic, and over the years I've had to establish major boundaries around behaviors, conversations, and situations that were often used as leverage or turned against me.
One of the biggest changes I've made is learning not to react. I no longer feel the need to defend myself, argue, or engage in every comment. In many cases, I simply let it go and keep moving forward.
Unfortunately, some people will never acknowledge their behavior or take accountability for the hurt they cause. Accepting that has been difficult, but also incredibly freeing.
Set your boundaries. Protect your peace. Stay consistent.
You've got this. ❤️
“Not terrible enough”… can we have some examples??
Clear, direct communication and boundaries would be my usual path, but I’m not sure what the behavior is that gets under your skin so it’s hard to give a singular answer.
This is bad enough to reduce or cut off contact. Also, if someone is putting you on the edge, you are probably not going to be the best parent you could be during those visitations.
If you don’t cut off contact now, and your daughter grows up to love grandma, it gets even harder to cut off contact when your daughter is old enough to understand the toxic things that come out of grandma’s mouth.
Cut the visits down to twice a year. That should help ease your angst. Tell her, "It's best this way moving forward since your family has so many things going on now, and you want to ensure she gets the attention she deserves when she visits." That should help ease her into it. Good luck!
Is she hands on and trustworthy with your daughter? If so, your daughter is getting old enough to do half day or full day outings alone with her - like the zoo or aquarium or a children’s theater. Or if you go too, at least it gives them something to chat about together, and you can hang back while they look at the animals or whatever together. My parents and in-laws aren’t hands on like this, but I know plenty that are!