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Infosys Limited Hi Fishes , my LWD at infosys was on 06 october . I have still not received nills clearance yet . Even after multiple remainder mails from my personal email Id and from final clearance team to bills clearance , no action is being taken . is there anything else i could do here ? Infosys Limited Infosys
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My Mom was that way. I found a trusted sitter. When she realized they weren't coming by as much and then asked why. I just relied, they heard your comments and you made them feel unwanted. The comments stopped and she began to appreciate the time she got to spend with them.
Stop asking them to watch the kids or help out. Find alternative care, even if it costs $$. If they want a meaningful relationship with their grandchildren, they will reach out. When the time comes that they ask why you hired a sitter or whatever, you should be honest - you don’t want them to feel obligated and you don’t want to be made to feel guilty. Makes it easier for everyone.
I appreciate your initial comment and this follow up! Even a couple days later they are still angry about it. But I’m ok with how I handled so they will just need to come around which I am sure they will. I think a big part that I left out was that my parents both are Soviet immigrants who had poor relationships with their parents. So they did really give us a lot and I am thankful.
As someone who was long subjected to this type of manipulative behavior by my mother (i grew up in a single mom household), my response may be intense and passionate. It's not a reflection directly of this post, moreso my inability to disassociate from what you've said.
Your parents behavior sounds typical of boomers. There is no generation of people more self-centered and manipulative than them.
I took away my mom's ability to hold things over my head by not accepting her help, and wouldn't you know it - she doesn't see her grandchildren!
I understand you want to keep your relationship with your parents and want your children to have one with them as well, so I have no actual advice other than to tell you their behavior is, unfortunately, normal.
I have similarly aged kids and I lost my mom suddenly earlier this year. She never made me feel guilty about this, but it’s also made me realize life is short. Your mom shouldn’t weaponize her grandkids to guilt you but likewise you shouldn’t withhold your kids from grandma to teach her a lesson. Delicate balance
I’m so sorry to hear that!
I'm thankful my father isn't like this. He loves spending time with the grands and great-grands, even if they run him ragged.
Coach
It sounds like for your parents it’s more of a transactional relationship and you want a relationship that is less conditioned more unconditional. Like, ‘you help me and I help you, but the two aren’t conditional on each other.
Can you talk honestly to your parents? I think of you don’t you’ll be resentful. Good luck!
Coach
I get it. Sometimes a break is healthy. We had problems w my mother in law who was a young widow and my husband is an only child. I hope with time all gets back to normal. 💕