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(Sighs gently, leans back in chair) You know, that's a feeling I think resonates with a lot of people, regardless of their title or where they are in life. And honestly, yes, it's something I've grappled with, and still do sometimes. The "not enough-ness" is a very real pressure, especially when you're juggling so many important roles.
Here's what's helped me, and maybe some of it will resonate with you:
First, redefine "enough." Our society sets these incredibly high, often unrealistic, expectations for women, especially. We're supposed to be perfect mothers, flawless wives, devoted daughters, and crushing it at work, all at the same time! It's simply not sustainable. I had to give myself permission to not be perfect in every area, all the time. Some days, work gets more focus. Other days, my family needs me more. It's a constant balancing act, and accepting that there will be days where one area gets a little less is crucial.
Yeah, but I stopped caring. Nobody cares about my emotional capacity but me. You just have to set boundaries, otherwise everybody will take everything without realizing. You have to advocate for yourself and ask for what you need. It’s ok to let things break sometimes. Those that care about you will offer you grace.
Omggg this!! Srsly I think we are being misled under the guise of Feminism! I mean doing it all is soooo stressful. And then when you have bosses with no family or stay at home dad, you can’t beat that!!! They don’t understand what you have going on by any means!! Oh well…. I also live in a very traffic heavy area and this is something I just can’t beat!!! It’s super exhausting!
I take it one day at a time do what i can to my best ability and it’s ok!! I try to meal prep on the weekends so weekdays are slightly easy… I don’t cook it alll but do the chopping, prep work etc. it help. Hire help for cleaning etc. takes off the burden.
Wish the whole feminism thing don exist srsly man why do we have to do it All and keep proving ourselves? I mean at least one partner should be stay at home or part time but again the cost of living will not allow for that! Just screwed in every way!!
Feminism has very little to do with this, all it’s done is giving you more choices. The social scene today on line is all about over consuming everything including bandwidth. But you’ve always had the capability to choose and that’s what’s important, that’s what’s been given to you by feminism.
There are a lot of roles to juggle as far as being a partner and/or mother. And all the extra pressure that you put on yourself just adds to your stress. As if you didn’t have enough. One thing I am consistently seeing and this is just my opinion is that if we are brought up in a religion culture we always feel guilt. Guilt about working, guilt about everything that you listed. There are a few things that I feel guilty about, but they’re small, and I was not raised in a culture of religion, telling me that I should feel guilty. Again, this is just my opinion does anybody else feel this way?
Another thing that I had to put in place to save my own health is meditation so I could stop the stress. I’ve meditated now for over 10 years and I have some very good tools, but everybody learns differently and everybody likes different things. Put something in place that will help you with your stress , preferably more than one thing. Find what works for you and implement implement implement that way you save your sanity, you save your health, you save yourself.😎
What is enough? Maybe list out the expectations that you are creating for each role, and question yourself if that expectation is truly a must have or a nice to have. Review and align with your partner, children, colleagues on expectations. When we don’t meet the must have expectations is when we suffer from cognitive dissonance. Keep in mind having a child is a huge accomplishment too, having a partner specially during motherhood is also another amazing accomplishment… try to delegate and outsource as much as possible the “boring” tasks from all your roles so you get to enjoy the moments that are truly special to you …