Do you ever feel like you're not doing enough? Not doing enough as a wife, as a daughter, as a mother...? It's honestly exhausting to have so many roles to play and then there's work. Work, where you can't afford to not do enough because the minute you don't, life in every other role comes crumbling down. At least, I think my job is my source of accomplishment. Not enjoying this feeling of worthlessness. I'd love it if people could share their views about this - I could use a perspective shift.

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

(Sighs gently, leans back in chair) You know, that's a feeling I think resonates with a lot of people, regardless of their title or where they are in life. And honestly, yes, it's something I've grappled with, and still do sometimes. The "not enough-ness" is a very real pressure, especially when you're juggling so many important roles.
Here's what's helped me, and maybe some of it will resonate with you:
First, redefine "enough." Our society sets these incredibly high, often unrealistic, expectations for women, especially. We're supposed to be perfect mothers, flawless wives, devoted daughters, and crushing it at work, all at the same time! It's simply not sustainable. I had to give myself permission to not be perfect in every area, all the time. Some days, work gets more focus. Other days, my family needs me more. It's a constant balancing act, and accepting that there will be days where one area gets a little less is crucial.

like

Yeah, but I stopped caring. Nobody cares about my emotional capacity but me. You just have to set boundaries, otherwise everybody will take everything without realizing. You have to advocate for yourself and ask for what you need. It’s ok to let things break sometimes. Those that care about you will offer you grace.

like

Omggg this!! Srsly I think we are being misled under the guise of Feminism! I mean doing it all is soooo stressful. And then when you have bosses with no family or stay at home dad, you can’t beat that!!! They don’t understand what you have going on by any means!! Oh well…. I also live in a very traffic heavy area and this is something I just can’t beat!!! It’s super exhausting!
I take it one day at a time do what i can to my best ability and it’s ok!! I try to meal prep on the weekends so weekdays are slightly easy… I don’t cook it alll but do the chopping, prep work etc. it help. Hire help for cleaning etc. takes off the burden.
Wish the whole feminism thing don exist srsly man why do we have to do it All and keep proving ourselves? I mean at least one partner should be stay at home or part time but again the cost of living will not allow for that! Just screwed in every way!!

like

Feminism has very little to do with this, all it’s done is giving you more choices. The social scene today on line is all about over consuming everything including bandwidth. But you’ve always had the capability to choose and that’s what’s important, that’s what’s been given to you by feminism.

like

There are a lot of roles to juggle as far as being a partner and/or mother. And all the extra pressure that you put on yourself just adds to your stress. As if you didn’t have enough. One thing I am consistently seeing and this is just my opinion is that if we are brought up in a religion culture we always feel guilt. Guilt about working, guilt about everything that you listed. There are a few things that I feel guilty about, but they’re small, and I was not raised in a culture of religion, telling me that I should feel guilty. Again, this is just my opinion does anybody else feel this way?
Another thing that I had to put in place to save my own health is meditation so I could stop the stress. I’ve meditated now for over 10 years and I have some very good tools, but everybody learns differently and everybody likes different things. Put something in place that will help you with your stress , preferably more than one thing. Find what works for you and implement implement implement that way you save your sanity, you save your health, you save yourself.😎

like

What is enough? Maybe list out the expectations that you are creating for each role, and question yourself if that expectation is truly a must have or a nice to have. Review and align with your partner, children, colleagues on expectations. When we don’t meet the must have expectations is when we suffer from cognitive dissonance. Keep in mind having a child is a huge accomplishment too, having a partner specially during motherhood is also another amazing accomplishment… try to delegate and outsource as much as possible the “boring” tasks from all your roles so you get to enjoy the moments that are truly special to you …

Related Posts

In your agency, who owns brand strategy implementation and brand experience across channels (storytelling (communication goals & brand narrative), brand content recommendations, tactic ideation and approach, user experience, etc.)?

like

What’s something a guy has said in a meeting you could never pull off as a woman? I’ll go. One time a guy creative was presenting his work and said “yeah this was just me being lazy and not wanting to do any work” and he literally suggested we do the same ads as last year, with a different celebrity plugged in. CDs in the meeting laughed and considered it for a minute. If I had presented that and said I was being lazy, I would prob be put on the chopping block.

like

Hey. An observation. Every post and comment on here for the past month has been negative as fuck. Yes, life is rough right now. But advertising as a paying job is hilarious and we should all take a beat to remember that.

like

Best late night car service in town (that isn’t lyft or uber)?

White people are trying to take over BLM and will ruin that too.

Change my mind.

likefunnysmart

Hi Fishes... Need 11 likes please

likesmart

Hi! Has anyone here heard of, or worked at, KERN? What are your impressions of the company and its reputation?

like

is the amazon work simulation assessment a case study? should i be expecting, for instance, a coding test? or a financial modeling test? or is it behavioral?

like

Hi , need likes for DM Feature , Thank you.

like

“I feel like I’m the stupidest person here”
“You are not stupid. You literally work at one of the top consulting firms in the world”
“I literally got a 6% in one exam during undergrad”
“Well damn I guess you are stupid”

likefunny

Does anyone tell the truth in exit interviews? About to have mine and not sure whether to be honest about partners who were bullies, backwards culture, etc?

like

Our 10 month old bengal with his new 3 month old companion. He loves her so much already.

Post Photo
likeuplifting

Hi everyone.

I have 3.5 years of experience as a Quality Assurance Analyst in manual and automation testing. I am looking for a job change. Can someone please refer me to a manual testing position preferably?

like

PwC 🐠 - health insurance coverage. What are the deductibles for the high-deductible plans? Still want to use the HSA. Thanks!

Hi fellow 🌈 🐠- Looking for a therapist in Toronto. Can be virtual but would prefer to do sessions in person at some point with the same therapist for continuity. Any recos or resources on where to start the search? Bonus if they are LGBTQ or have experience/specialize within that community.

like

Hi I had an offer from CGE for Associate Consultant B1, I negotiated the CTC with the HR on it and the new offer is for Associate II/A5 can anyone explain the meaning of these positions?

like

What’s the best way to break into a big law litigation practice as a Junior associate? I’m currently working in non-auto accident insurance defense and don’t know any attorneys in the area

like

What do I need to know about making the switch to freelance?

like

Is anyone spending an abundant amount of time evaluating and tracking quarantine cases, attending internal Covid updates and other tasks associated with Covid at work ?

like

Why is Barclays the best organization to work with?

I have been hearing a lot that Barclays is one of the best organization to work for but no one is actually helping me in what terms it is better then other organization's. Can someone please share their thoughts here

No joining bonus for early joiners
No WFH set-up cost for new joiners
The organization does provide chair/monitor/mouse/keyboard for WFH ease but then we have to return it while leaving organization.

Word limit pls check commen

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal