Do you have to travel a lot for work? I do, and very often I'm away from my partner for weeks on end. During this time away, I'm always thinking about my partner, wanting to update him about anything I find exciting, etc but he seems to be completely fine with the distance. We speak once a day but if I don't make extra effort, we don't talk more than that once. Is this a man thing? I feel so detached but in his head, nothing has changed. He just 'doesn't do phones'.Help me see this differently?

I don’t think it’s a universal “man” thing. It’s an individual personality and relationship thing. If it’s bothering you and you’re feeling detached, that’s not healthy, so something has to give for long term sustainability.

Maybe a high-travel job isn’t worth it if you have a hard time being apart from a partner.

Or maybe you need more from him. You have a right to share your needs and problem solve with him. If he isn’t willing to put effort into meeting your needs, that’s a bigger issue.

For context… I’m a woman, I travel a lot, and I don’t like texting or phone calls. My partner recognized this and tried to suppress their desire for more connection, but eventually it blew up because they weren’t okay and it almost ended our marriage. I had to come to the table and figure out a way to meet their needs while traveling: we agreed that I’ll communicate when I’m free in advance, check in once a day (I’ll often call while I’m having dinner or in a car), and play some turn-based phone games like Scrabble so that we can have little moments of connection through the day. It’s working so far, but I had to understand how important these little things are to them and make some compromises.

It might be an introverted thing, as a women in her late 20s, I can go weeks not texting or calling anyone, I am a face to face kind of person. Doesn’t mean I don’t try to be more involved but speaking to someone on the phone everyday sounds exhausting but speaking to someone everyday in person is no issue for me. Maybe try doing FaceTimes instead.

I don't think it's all guys, but certainly some. My husband is very proactive about taking to me when I'm traveling. He texts throughout the day updating me on the he's doing/what's going on at home, and I respond when I can - I'm often leading meetings and interviews, so I have to wait to respond until I get a break.

It's completely natural to feel a sense of detachment when you're away from your partner for long stretches, especially when you cherish those moments of connection. Remember that everyone has different ways of handling distance; your partner may be more comfortable with less frequent communication, which doesn’t necessarily reflect his feelings for you. Instead of focusing on the frequency of your conversations, try to embrace the moments you do share and consider finding creative ways to stay connected, like sending him little updates or sharing something exciting from your day that he can look forward to hearing about. This approach can help you both feel more in sync, even when miles apart.

It's a man thing, trust me. He misses you but he's not going to text you about how he misses you.

I’m the man in this equation. My husband will travel and we may talk every other day, maybe not. If he doesn’t call, I usually don’t call him- I assume he is busy or tired. I’m also busy with all the things while he is away. I miss him but am busy and know he’s coming back in a day or two.

I still send him memes and reels though so maybe that counts?

For reference- we have been married for 25 years and low key appreciate breaks from the constant togetherness. 🤷🏻‍♀️

This was my husband and I for the 20 years I was a road warrior. It took almost 2 years and some serious counsellings after I stopped traveling to figure out how to live together every day again.

He doesn't like you, breakup with him.

I think you need to work on creating your own identity outside of being someone’s gf. Just my opinion.