Hi ladies, could I get some advice and guidance please?

Im a manager and I work with mainly male directors and partners who seem to hold me to a different — and unfair — set of expectations compared to my male colleagues or anyone else on the team.

For example, I’ve been told that to progress, I need to go beyond my core responsibilities and take on tasks from other people’s silos even when my partner knows I have a lot on my plate.

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Sorry! Big 4 public is most about office politics. Sorry. Sad but can be true. Hard to say without knowing the entire story. Maybe the guys client is valuable $$ and loves him. Many different scenarios can be at play here. Yes depending on the environment and cultural/ religious backgrounds women still not accepted. No body will admit but is true.

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I could have written the exact same thing almost. I’m sorry you are experiencing this too.

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In contrast, a male manager who was recently promoted didn’t have to do any of that. He was ranked Tier 1 without participating in any extracurriculars, whereas I took on multiple extracurriculars and was still ranked Tier 2 with no promotion. Nor has he ever been dumped on a completely new silo without any help from anyone above and given no staff.

It feels like favoritism, but more than that — I’m starting to question whether this is rooted in sexism, racism, or both. What’s particularly disheartening is that even my own partner seems to endorse these arbitrary and biased expectations that aren’t applied to anyone else on the team. I get comparison is the thief of joy but after two years of this, I feel completely defeated in trying. And every time i talk to my partner about promotion, he gives me different requirements each time.

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I’m sorry girl. Based off of what I’ve witnessed myself, I hate to say it but you’re probably not overreacting. Unfortunately there’s literally nothing you can do about it outside of switching teams. All I’ll say is figure out if you want to stay here long term. If you do, I’d have a frank conversation with my partners, make them come up with a checklist of things or behaviors you need to exhibit to guarantee your promotion, and then check every single item off and have frequent interim check ins with them. That’s been the only thing that has worked for me.

I’d also consider that your peer might have been involved in wins or other things that you might not have known about. Don’t let it kill your spirit

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They won't change. Your best shot is to interview elsewhere to get the promotion and respect you deserve.

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I had some issues under a male partner and manager but networked my way onto a few jobs under a female partner and now I’m getting way better results and backup. Before quitting in this shitty market try to see if you can get staffed on clients under female leadership and see if it helps. It could be a year long process though. Took me a bit to unwind my old client work and get fully integrated onto different team.

uplifting

I've been there, witnessed that, and experienced that, left that. Went from Big 4 to next tier simply due to this. Jumped right to Partner. There is life outside Big 4, and to be honest, it is greener, in my experience. Take all the valuable skills you have gained from the Big 4 and put it to use someplace else. I am happy to connect, and I can say our firm is growing, and we are hiring!

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It doesn't matter where you go. I even worked at a firm for 5 months that was mostly women but they treated women the same way. I do recommend if you can start golfing, and golf with whoever ia into it at the firm. It will really help you move up.

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