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Regardless of kids or not, I highly recommend trying different things to turn that work brain off. I started doing a brain dump list after work. Every little thing on my mind about it goes on the list and it helps with not popping up in my head later, at least it’s a little better!
You could be doing everything right, engaging with them every second you're together, and I still don't think you'd feel you were doing a good enough job. That's the bittersweet pain of being a parent - you always wish you could have done more. I'm not perfect, but I've found eliminating screens from the minute school is over until the kids go to bed is helpful. Less distractions from work and life, more focus on enjoying my time with them.
That guilt is so real, but it also shows how much you care. I try to reframe it: my kids don’t need a perfect mom, just one who’s present when it counts—and I remind myself that showing them what passion and hard work look like is also a gift.
I'm the same way. I think I actually may have ADD. My mind just races constantly with everything especially work. Just remember we're not perfect, we're human.