I’ve realized there’s no better way to put this: is a lazy husband lazy forever? He has a good job but was ready to quit it for a lower paying one while we were saving for a bigger house. He decided not to because my company was doing layoffs. We paid off the house and he could not wait a year to buy a new car so now we have debt again. He got zepbound but refuses to work out. He usually has to be prompted to do chores. I’m trying to figure out how to prevent my son from inheriting this.

I find the job thing weird - mid 30’s expecting first kid, that is when those hustle years are in. Also never get these guys who don’t exercise with no kids, pure laziness.

For reference, male 33, married for 11 years, have an 8, 5 and another on the way. Besides for surgery recovery (sports injury), I’ve exercised consistently throughout marriage. Wife and I wake up at 520 each morning to prioritize us and work out before kids wake up.

Lazy is as lazy does. But tell your man to step it up! It’s the husbands responsibility to care for his wife and kid(s).

I suppose I am far good then irrespective of what my better half thinks.
Do laundry, makes breakfast, household chores, engage child not for long though and gives everyone a peace of mind every now and then.

Will he attend counseling or try to investigate his chemistry? As in, get some lab work done by his healthcare provider to see if there are bio or neuro reason actually driving this behavior? Ultimately leading to a plan to help him and get you the outcome of more energy and self-motivation? Depression, anxiety, add, adhd - lots of diagnosis that can be the root cause.

How old are you guys to have already paid off your house?

Your only debt is a car loan, he works full-time, you have a paid-off home. That doesn’t sound like a laziness issue to me. You also said you have a baby - I think postpartum resentment of your partner is pretty normal during that period of time. I think it’s more of a communication issue and you may want to look into meeting with a marriage counselor.

I’ll say that: you can’t change a person, their values and their drive. I know it seems obvious and often times we only learn that hard truth after the marriage is here and you have no way out but he’ll do what he does. If he’s a wise loving man, A honest and yet kind conversation should open his eyes. Lead with love and compassion but be honest about how you feel, you’re losing respect for him as man, as a leader of the family and as a husband. Ask him how you can support him (without doing his work for him). The point is make him understand you’re a teammate. You’re not accusing but sharing what you’re observing. Set clear expectations, deadlines. I get this isn’t sexy or fun but doing that eliminates room
For wondering and excuses. See it if he comes through. If after all that he’s still not waking up, a harder conversation might be the way. Not to insist on why he needs to change his ways but to honorably explain that his values don’t align with you and some hard decisions need to be made.

Contd as soon as the baby cries, he gives him a bottle or brings him to me, regardless of when he last fed. My family also thinks he’s lazy.

It’s common, most of the husbands are in same category.

In my experience, you can’t fix lazy.

I had different issue. I feel my husband tries to spend my money more on big things. So when house buying was plan i told him I am not gone take any loan as I have another loan. I am ok with flat on ur name. And whatever capacity loan u can take or on rented flat as well. So now he stepped up and took loan and bought flat. Sometimes you just need to do stop doing all. I behave like nothing is my responsibility or I don't need it.
That works

Could your husband be depressed?