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You need to aggressively, but quietly advocate for yourself. I have solid calendars blocks on times I am doing drop off/pick-up and you can put meetings on those, i don’t accept or I decline and provide alternates. On calls that could run into pickup or drop off - I say at the top of the call that I have hard stops at a specific time and i stick to it when that time arrives.
Yes, it often feels like being a mom is something I have to manage in the background while pretending it is not affecting work. I have stopped bringing it up because I worry it makes me seem less focused. Support is talked about a lot, but I rarely feel it in action.
It appears tolerated but not supported, you stated it well. On one had I can’t blame them. They have lives and don’t want slack or more issues. They aren’t paying for personal life choices. On the other I think it’s a societal issue that trickles into work. Mothers are viewed as dead weight most of all in a corporate setting and worst of all in public accounting .
This is a tough question. Yes, I feel like I'm supposed to quietly juggle it all. But I do also feel like I have the flexibility to do that here. I just block my calendar for anything I need to do - drop-offs, pick-ups, doc appts, volunteering at school. And I communicate if it affects anyone else. If I'm scheduled to be on-site but a kid gets sick, I make sure my team is covered but generally have no problem swapping to an at-home day. (If there's something I really can't miss, usually my husband can cover the sick kid.) I can't imagine this much flexibility anywhere else. As long as I'm getting my hours in and communicate appropriately, I have no trouble. I think it probably depends significantly on the specific people you're working with.