My husband and I work in Bangalore. I want to buy a house there where we both work. In our hometown, my in-laws already have a house, but it has become very old. As real estate prices are increasing, building a new house there will easily cost around 1–2 crore.

Both of my in-laws are working, but my husband wants to take a loan to build a house for them. But what about us? We will continue living in a rented house.

Exactly… if you are a working women than you have rights to take these types of financial decisions. If this is your condition in ur marriage then ur whole life will be like this. U should not accept it… i know we girls can not take decision of divorce but at least you can threaten him and live separately… u will feel confident. There are so many women now a days… after divorce they are living their lives. These men should know their priorities. We put all our priorities aside for them but they don’t do it. U should start doing for your parents now

Although my in laws have home but they want a newly built in different neighbourhood. So my husband paying for loan for that new house and the for the one he bought for himself where he is doing job . So no savings left and not be able to save anything for his own family future. But Family is enjoying. Can’t say a single thing about all these . He won’t take any words against his family decisions

I would suggest buying a simple apartment in your name since you are earning. Nowdays most of the womens are buying properties alone & in their name irrespective of their marital status. Just inform your husband and search for an apartment within your budget in Banglore. I have done this myself, in case of any questions you can reach out to me

Maybe a man who doesn't have a spine does not deserve to be a husband... Divorce him...

Being a girl from not supportive family . Takes too much stress about people. Doesn’t have guts to divorce . Doesn’t know how longs will be able to handle all this

Then develop your guts sis, else this world will eat you up. Marriage is not the be all and end all of your life if your partner doesn't understand you

If I’m in your position I would tell my husband to spend his half money on his parents and rest on savings for children+insurance+ grocery. And your salary should be spend for rent+savings. If your husband not interested to stay here in Bangalore then ask him if he will move to his parents home in future. If that is his plan then there is no point in buying home in Bangalore. Also make sure the home he is building in hometown is on his name. This fight won’t stop ever if he already made up his mind. Try to meet him in middle ground.

Tell him either build a home here in Bangalore and ask parents to move here with him. Else give him a choice of transferring everything on his name first then build home for parents. So that you can go and stay there when you retire. Meanwhile just save money for your children’s marriage and education.

Tell him you need to feel safe and for your children’s future.

Give him these choice let him make the decision.

In that way he feels that you are on his side.

Everything’s on mother’s name. He has younger brother too.

The inlaws must contribute equally as they are working and the house if for them. If your husband have siblings they must too contribute equally. That way the burden will be split 3-4 ways.

Also do everything on budget nothing unecessary. And set this expectation that you also need a house in next year.

For yourself start being proactive. Daily show him pics and do site visits for your own home.

You absolutely cannot stop him from helping his parents but help must be limited.

husband buys land on her mother’s name without disclosing to her wife. Just on random day she got to by see the paper in phone but can’t tell husband that she hv seen such things.

Now he deleted all those related things
Don’t getting an istance where she can put her point and ask wht the reason behind it

I don’t know how much a man is earning, educated or at higher position still do such things . Why these people getting married.