Need some validation - we had our second in January, and she is…far more difficult than our first (boy). She is constantly crying if she’s not being held, and even when she’s somewhat content she grunts like Chewbacca (I’ve nicknamed her chewy). We’re making it through this tough phase, but both my wife and I have fallen into unhealthy habits. I don’t workout nearly as much as I did before and after our first was born, and we both drink much more (nearly daily) to cope with the stress and

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Your second likely has colic… we did this with my first and our second was an angel. There’s no good answer here but just power through. As they get closer to a year it gets better. Hang in there be sure to support your wife.

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For at least the first 6 months of our first my wife and I slept in separate rooms - one with baby and one alone in silence. Getting a good night sleep every other night probably saved our marriage at that point. Your child should be able to go a whole night without eating, so hopefully you don't have to wake your wife up to feed.
I'd also recommend finding something other than drinking to take the edge off.
Other than that, just hang in there. Parenting is tough

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Use your money to buy help so you can sleep and get good habits back

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Cut down on the drinking and use the time to work out. Nothing crazy, just something to burn cortisol (stress hormone). Do it even if you’re tired. The only bad workout is the one you don’t do. I used to do this on deployment to help with stress - and still now that I’m dealing with a newborn. It makes a huge difference.

Btw - if your baby has gas - try the Windi by Frida Baby and gripe water. We ended up getting a Snoo bassinet for better sleep and it was the best money I’ve ever spent.

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Still working on cutting back alc

Overstimulation. How have you recovered and adopted your good habits / gotten your discipline back?

OP search YouTube “Who’s gonna carry the boats”

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