We just went through a round of layoffs, and I had to let two people go. I delivered the news, closed my laptop, and cried in the bathroom. I know this comes with leadership, but nothing prepares you for this kind of emotional weight. I’ve been spiraling with guilt, replaying what I could’ve done differently. How do you carry this kind of responsibility without it breaking you?

This is one of the hardest parts of the job, and the fact that it’s keeping you up shows you care deeply. It helps to talk through it with other leaders who’ve been there, and to remember that you didn’t cause the circumstances—only carried out a painful part of them. Give yourself space to grieve too.

Remember that this situation isn’t solely on you. You’re the VP of Operations so I assume that you were involved in decision making but I’m sure you didn’t decide by yourself to do layoffs and there are a lot of people responsible for the results that led to layoffs. Someone was going to have to deliver that news to the people being laid off. You made sure that as crummy as that news is, they heard it from someone kind and empathetic who cares about them as more than a number in the company.

Not at your level yet, but I think this is the appropriate feeling of responsibility that keeps our society working. I’d like to think that when you’re making business decisions in the future you’ll be prioritizing the health and needs of your company vs. shareholder value.

Woof. Really want to reiterate that it’s good and important that you feel the responsibility of layoffs as a leader in a company. Please do not anthropomorphize companies.

This is why having a mentor or a coach or a therapist can help. Because at this level the way you handled things in the past may not help you cope at this level. It just means you need proper tools to handle this level.

You are human. You have the right to grieve. You have the right to care. But you also have the right to process these feelings properly so that it doesn’t destroy you from the inside out. Don’t become the villain in your own story.

A retrospective for senior leadership or even yourself might be a good thing. So you can get it out of your head and on paper. And see if there are any lessons learned to be applied.

It’s really hard, especially if they were good workers/team members.
You have to view it as part of the job. You aren’t laying them off, the company is.

It’s so hard, and your feelings are huge. Let them out. The economy is really hard right now.

The only way to try and reframe it in your mind is that the company is making their *role* redundant, not them as a person. The fact that you can so deeply shows that you are obviously a great and empathetic manager and one day you will all heal from this. Most people that I know who got laid off ended up somewhere that was just a better fit for them, so consider yourself part of the next chapter of a positive journey for them.

Take advantage of your employer’s EAP offering. And take comfort that the people you had to lay off heard the news from someone who saw them as a person, a human worthy of dignity, not just a widget.