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How's the wlb here?
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HCL Technologies offer being delayed and recruiter keeps saying that there's a problem with their "Offer release portal system." I have already stated my issues with relocating until after I have the offer signed and ready. The project is supposed to start on the 19th and I'm supposed to join before, or on that date. It's already coming up soon and I don't have the official offer so that I can confidently start the relocation process. Has anyone else recently dealt with this?
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I would look into counseling for you, and maybe journaling on the topic. I think it’s a question of why you don’t trust him and what is fundamentally missing from the relationship for you. Likewise it may help you understand what is NOT an issue and what you value about the relationship. Once you identify those things, you can make a choice about if you want to keep being in the marriage or not.
This really helped me bring things into focus when I was going through a rough patch in my marriage, although mine was caused by an undiagnosed ND condition with my husband which made him react completely contrary to all the advice on relationships - I had to change how I interacted with him to get us back to a good place, and had to decide if I wanted to do that emotional heavy lifting for life, knowing he can’t really change that aspect of himself.
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Woof. It’s rough as an Aspie’s partner. REALLY recommend that book. Happy to chat about my tips and tricks that changed my marriage from on the brink to happy and supportive for both of us if you read it and identify strongly.
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“Counseling hasn’t gone deep enough in the past”
Counseling works as deep as you let it work. It requires total buy in and vulnerability from both sides. I would say try again maybe with a new therapist if you need to.
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Going through something similar. No advice, just following and sending empathy
I feel like I’m on the receiving end of this in my marriage and when I drop the ball on things I get “you always do this!” And him throwing past things in my face. Then I feel like I need to walk on eggshells with my commitments. Also I feel like I’m being held to a standard that he doesn’t hold for himself
I’d say the best thing both people can do in a partnership is to work on yourself and to give the other person grace, and Im trying to do this myself. Was there a past hurt where someone let you down that you need to heal from?
I feel you on a lot of what you’re saying. Resentment isn’t good and I have a lot of that in my marriage too and it manifests into little disrespects snide remarks and unkindness. Our therapist said we either need to air it all out and have a reckoning or move on. I’ve chosen to move on and just chose not to let stuff bother me. I’m guilty of saying stuff will get done and not do it. Maybe give him until x date and if it’s not done then outsource it. Either way, for your own peace find a way to let go of resentment.