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Received an offer as Engagement Director from Salesforce (CSG, pre sales, L9). Great benefits package, 40% increase in total comp and better WLB.
I do love the people in my practice and current client, but career trajectory has stalled after taking parental leave earlier this year and (yet another) change in leadership.
Realistically, making to Director is 2-3 years away and will require sacrificing time with my family that I am not prepared to give up.
Should I stay or should I go?
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I'm sure I'll be in the minority here, but I believe it's wise to tell a few important people such as HR and your immediate boss.
While we all hope to carry our babies to term, part of the idea behind waiting until after the first trimester is because the chance of loss decreases. However, I believe this contributes to women having to mourn their loss without support. If HR and your boss know, then if something were to happen, they would understand your loss in a different way. They would remember the joy in your face and the plans you talked about and be able to have more empathy. I know we don't think of HR and our boss as the people whose comfort we need, but their support is invaluable during a time like that. Telling them also lends itself to more flexibility and understanding if you find yourself experiencing sickness at a certain time of day and impacts your schedule.
I once had a placenta abruption at 9 weeks. I didn't know when it happened that it wasn't a miscarriage. My boss and HR were both very supportive as I navigated that for a few days.
Hopefully your pregnancy is without issue, but I think having people in place for support if it is needed is helpful.
Coach
We learned this week that a coworker is pregnant (so excited for her!). She waited to share the news after her first trimester. She made cookies to share with the office and included a note that read, "If I'm getting a big belly, you are too!"
It doesn’t matter how your boss feels. You have to do what’s best for your family and your child. No woman should feel guilty about starting a family just because of their job. I think after the first trimester is a reasonable time to tell them.
I hid my pregnancy under big sweaters until performance reviews were completed. I was about 25 weeks when I told my boss. I got this advice from a career coach who wisely said that you just don’t know the unconscious bias a boss may have when they hear you are pregnant.
Congratulations!! Check your company’s policy to understand when you’re required to tell, for me it’s only 30 days before taking leave.
I personally waited until 23 weeks when I was obviously showing. Prior to then I didn’t want to risk any unconscious bias that comes from views on pregnant women (right or wrong as they may be). That also allowed me to get more comfortable with the pregnancy since it was post NIPT screening, spina bifida test, and the anatomy scan.
That being said, I barely had morning sickness and could push through my fatigue so my work didn’t suffer. If you start developing severe symptoms that may cause you to move noticeably slower, then maybe telling a few trusted leaders sooner would be wise. Just depends on your situation!
I have never had kids, how does your desire to work change after kids?
It it different for everyone.
I had always assumed I'd be eager to get back to work and I was terribly mistaken.
This is a difficult question to answer because it depends on your boss. At our company we’ve had three pregnant people in the last year and everyone pitched in to help out when they needed it as they weren’t feeling well at times, etc. How they came back to work, or didn’t varied with each one as well. Regardless, don’t let it stress you out. You have to remain calm and enjoy this moment for your sake as well as your babies.