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Most places are not homophobic (I've never been to a place where I felt the workers were homophobic) so I'd just go to a place near you. I like QB House because it's pretty cheap ($30). There's a number of locations all over Manhattan.
I do the same. Just looking for a more safe and inclusive environment, since the many I’ve tried are very hit and miss. I am a lesbian Latina woman and would love to find a regular place.