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Her performance review should be focused on her quality of work, not her family priorities. Feedback and her performance review should focus on the work and if you see areas where she’s lacking, regardless if it’s due to her “priorities”, focus on that. She is allowed to prioritize her family and can still be a successful professional, with the right guidance and support.
Does this mean work doesn’t get done? pitting family first shouldn’t be a reason female leadership get held back. I constantly put family first yet still find a way to get the work out timely.
Emotional intelligence seems to be missing in a lot of people today. Not sure why. There is a serious lack of understanding of why you would ever want to put yourself in someone else's shoes, or even how to do that. I can't relate to that in any way, but it is the reason why so many are self-serving and unable to reflect on themselves in a way that involves others or helps them understand who they are as a whole, and that integrity, thoughtfulness, and respect for others actually matter and can only help benefit themselves as well. It is very disconcerting to me.
I should add that my family came first, and that I had turned down many promotions so I could be there to eat dinner with my son, help him with his homework, and be there to read him a bedtime story. That didn't mean I wasn't fully engaged at work. Maybe they had a struggle in their past and find it necessary to push back/remind about their work-life balance being critically important. Maybe someone has shown them that they are not allowed to have a work-life balance. Without knowing the whole story from both sides, it is difficult to know.