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I'm so glad to see this post here. I think about this all the time but for some reason feel guilt/shame bringing it up. I don't think it's possible to do both things perfectly (but nobody does). If you care about both things enough to do them at once, try to set time limits on each side and stick to them. Remember that you'll never be doing enough in either regard (we all feel like that) so try to set realistic goals each week so you feel good about yourself even if you aren't doing a perfect job at anything.
There is a single mom in our office who somehow just seems to crush it, professionally and personally. I'm over here with a husband and older children STILL struggling to manage my time properly between work and home. All I know is that at the end of the day, my family comes first. And if my job progression suffers because of it, well, so be it.
I think about this all the time. I don't even have kids, just dogs, and sometimes I can't even handle all the pressure 😆 I have so much respect for working parents, I'm not sure I can do it.
It's the hardest balancing act. I feel like I'm running myself ragged between the two while failing at both. During the week, I really only get 3-4 hours per day with my kids, and most of that is spent getting them fed, bathed and dressed. I try my best to make up for it by spending tons of quality time with them on the weekends, but it still doesn't feel like enough.
Believe me, we might look like we are managing but we are not managing well. I think we all feel guilty and feel like we aren't spending enough time with our kids. But then I remember that we have to work to provide for their futures so we just do the best that we can.